Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-05-13 12:23 am
azurelunatic) wrote2003-05-13 12:23 am
Testing: words vs. blows
I've often said that certain things said to me are like a blow to the stomach, and actually, I might prefer the physical punch.
Some time ago, while we were coding some SQL for my database class with the short-haired lady teacher, we tested this.
Darkside and I were in lab together, and I was coding a particularly hairy bit of SQL. I finally, finally got it to run.
It is probably worth noting at this point that it must have been N%, or proto-N%, out. N% is far less socialized than any of the others, even Marah. Given this, it would be no surprise to anyone except for the two principals, what followed.
It is probably also worth noting that Darkside and I have not ever dated, were not dating at the time, and have, to this date, still not dated. We have never had sex. We are only a couple in that I'd like us to be, and we seem to "feel" like a couple to anyone who watches us together. Darkside does not want to date me, is not attracted to me, and has told me so. We are, nonetheless, best friends.
Furthermore, Darkside is exceptionally withdrawn, physically. He barely tolerates hugs from me, and even then, he appreciates warning, and a chance to say yes, or tell me please, not now.
Also, he and I have the amusing habit of sparring with each other for fun, exchanging nerve pinches, smacks, punches, holds, and kicks.
The query ran. Finally. In spontaneous celebration, I threw my arms around the startled Darkside next to me, and planted a thoroughly uninvited kiss on his cheek. He socked me in the stomach, and huffed off (to give both of us a chance to cool off, as it developed).
Tears streaming from my eyes, I updated my journal a few times, and continued doggedly coding away. Darkside returned a while later, apologizing for his reaction, and I apologized for mine. He'd returned an unwelcome form of invasion of my personal space to me, as I'd given to him. There hadn't been any harsh words to complicate things, for me to dwell upon and poison my mind with. Action, reaction. I knew very simply where I stood in the matter. I had not injured him; he had not injured me.
He hadn't physically beaten me senseless, as Shawn had verbally beaten me. Words leave no bruises.
Some time ago, while we were coding some SQL for my database class with the short-haired lady teacher, we tested this.
Darkside and I were in lab together, and I was coding a particularly hairy bit of SQL. I finally, finally got it to run.
It is probably worth noting at this point that it must have been N%, or proto-N%, out. N% is far less socialized than any of the others, even Marah. Given this, it would be no surprise to anyone except for the two principals, what followed.
It is probably also worth noting that Darkside and I have not ever dated, were not dating at the time, and have, to this date, still not dated. We have never had sex. We are only a couple in that I'd like us to be, and we seem to "feel" like a couple to anyone who watches us together. Darkside does not want to date me, is not attracted to me, and has told me so. We are, nonetheless, best friends.
Furthermore, Darkside is exceptionally withdrawn, physically. He barely tolerates hugs from me, and even then, he appreciates warning, and a chance to say yes, or tell me please, not now.
Also, he and I have the amusing habit of sparring with each other for fun, exchanging nerve pinches, smacks, punches, holds, and kicks.
The query ran. Finally. In spontaneous celebration, I threw my arms around the startled Darkside next to me, and planted a thoroughly uninvited kiss on his cheek. He socked me in the stomach, and huffed off (to give both of us a chance to cool off, as it developed).
Tears streaming from my eyes, I updated my journal a few times, and continued doggedly coding away. Darkside returned a while later, apologizing for his reaction, and I apologized for mine. He'd returned an unwelcome form of invasion of my personal space to me, as I'd given to him. There hadn't been any harsh words to complicate things, for me to dwell upon and poison my mind with. Action, reaction. I knew very simply where I stood in the matter. I had not injured him; he had not injured me.
He hadn't physically beaten me senseless, as Shawn had verbally beaten me. Words leave no bruises.