Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-05-14 10:20 am
azurelunatic) wrote2003-05-14 10:20 am
Cockhobbits, angstwankers, and hand grenades: Mr. Shallow (the whole story)
Now, first keep in mind that Mr. Shallow has two identities. In ordinary life, he's someone I get along with very well. No more shall be said about that identity lest something be given away, and I don't want that to happen.
But, when Mr. Shallow is being Mr. Shallow, this is what has been happening. I have been exchanging very hot, very sparkful backrubs with him. And the Unresolved Sexual Tension has been rising.
Now, as Mr. Shallow is called Mr. Shallow for a reason, he will not date me. He is not looking for someone like me. He is looking for someone pretty (by his standards), who is also all the other things he's looking for in a casual relationship. Since he is not one for Doing Things outside the bonds of a relationship... doom. And since I'm Not His Type (read: too round)... doom. Furthermore, we both know that if we tried to date, we would either wind up in a screaming fight, or one of us would trample the other one without even trying. (Even odds as to who would be the trampler and who would be the tramplee, actually.) (If we tried to avoid trampling each other, there would be the screaming fight.) This might be fine if I could convince him that a casual, friends-who-fuck thing would work. However, he thinks of me too much as a sister.
So... we had that conversation last night. And then, instead of staying and hugging me until I stopped being grumpy about the entire situation, he had to leave. (Note: he did have a valid reason for leaving.) Nonetheless, we decided that the best way of working through things was letting Marah out and letting her get drunk with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rainstorm13 over IM. The results were predictable, and amusing.
So, that's the backstory for the poll.
But, when Mr. Shallow is being Mr. Shallow, this is what has been happening. I have been exchanging very hot, very sparkful backrubs with him. And the Unresolved Sexual Tension has been rising.
Now, as Mr. Shallow is called Mr. Shallow for a reason, he will not date me. He is not looking for someone like me. He is looking for someone pretty (by his standards), who is also all the other things he's looking for in a casual relationship. Since he is not one for Doing Things outside the bonds of a relationship... doom. And since I'm Not His Type (read: too round)... doom. Furthermore, we both know that if we tried to date, we would either wind up in a screaming fight, or one of us would trample the other one without even trying. (Even odds as to who would be the trampler and who would be the tramplee, actually.) (If we tried to avoid trampling each other, there would be the screaming fight.) This might be fine if I could convince him that a casual, friends-who-fuck thing would work. However, he thinks of me too much as a sister.
So... we had that conversation last night. And then, instead of staying and hugging me until I stopped being grumpy about the entire situation, he had to leave. (Note: he did have a valid reason for leaving.) Nonetheless, we decided that the best way of working through things was letting Marah out and letting her get drunk with
rainstorm13 over IM. The results were predictable, and amusing.So, that's the backstory for the poll.
Mr. Shallow is...
Your Sexual Desires Do Not Constitute An Emergency On His Part.
Re: Mr. Shallow is...
I am understandably annoyed, because of the miscommunication. Even though I am delighted with him in his usual identity as a friend, I am annoyed with the little bit of him that earned the "Mr. Shallow" nickname.