Choices.

[azurelunatic]

The Little Fayoumis just got a choice.

He managed, in the attempt to be watching a movie, to knock over one of the Playstation controllers, which is never a good idea. I asked him how it happened. He didn't know. I told him that since he had knocked it over, he would not be able to watch a movie right away, but he would be allowed to watch a movie an hour from now, after 3:30

I heard the beginnings of a Big Noisy Fuss. I told him that he had a choice: either he could accept watching a movie later, and watch a movie after 3:30, or he could make a Big Noisy Fuss about it and get grounded from movies today.

Comments

[mikey-ex-nihilo.livejournal.com]

So you punished him for knocking over a videogame controller? Isn't that a little extreme?

[mikey-ex-nihilo.livejournal.com]

Nope... but I'm told I'm childish enough to look from their perspective.

Ok I didn't know that your entertainment unit had a parental guidance warning. That is a house rule and I guess he should have asked you to set things up for him.
What I was affraid of was that being a 5 year old (I'm pretty sure thats what you said he was), it might imprint the idea that accidents are unnacceptable even when there is no damage done. Playstation controllers are hardy things, it usually takes excessive use or heavy objects falling on them to break them, though I could see your point if it was the console that was knocked off of the shelf. Childrens psyches are hardened as they grow, and the "blows" they take are what shapes them. Everybody is affraid of mistakes and accidents to differing degrees, parental approval and discipline usually have something to do with this. I'm just saying something cause I don't like seeing children learning to be overly stressed about "the little things".

It just sounded a little strict to me. But I don't know the full story/situation so my point of view might be a little askew.

Good intentions in the soapbox,
Mike

Alot of these thoughts are coming intuitively so I must admit I have no book to support them.

[mikey-ex-nihilo.livejournal.com]

Of course he's going to throw a fuss if he thinks it's unfair. I kinda think it's unfair. I also feel that if you believe something to be unfair that you should stand up for yourself, otherwise you grow up to be a passive aggressive doormat. Prime examples of this are people who don't vote because they feel that it won't make a difference. Bush got put into office under dubious circumstances and alot of people grumbled but nobody stood against the supreme court and demanded that Palm Beach be allowed to hold it's recount, becuase they felt it was futile to even try. If he were being punished for actual damage then I'd say he should accept it, but since he's being punished for something that didn't result in damage I feel he was in the right to protest. It was like a victimless crime.

However the main issue is that you can teach someone to be too careful. Fear of breaking things, while a very good method for teaching caution I agree, can become a problem later. It's called anal retention. You might build a level of expectation that leads to an adulthood full of stress, and intolerence for people who don't meet the expectations he himself learned.
The focus of the punishment isn't on something having been broken, which is usually enough to develope a healthy attitude of caution. It's on the unlikely possibility of something getting broken. While I could see punishment suitable for things such as throwing a baseball in the house, I don't think that knocking something as hard as a game controller over while reaching for something else is something a child should be worrying about. Now glasses and dishes are another matter. I can understand teaching him to be careful around breakables like dishes and such, but not a game controller. What happens when he goes over to his friends house and see's his friend knock something over and not get punished for it? He'll likely either think that his friends parents are wrong or you are, which means he'll either respect his friends less or he'll resent you for being strict, not a good thing either way.

(PS I feel a little awkward criticising, so please tell me if I step over the line.)

[mikey-ex-nihilo.livejournal.com]

Fair enough. I'll stop there then.