Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-06-22 11:23 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2003-06-22 11:23 pm
Where every choice is a really bad one...
There are some conversations, ones dealing with my depression and things that trigger it, that I don't want to have around the Little Fayoumis, or even when he's awake.
I don't feel secure enough in myself to bring them up when it's obvious that everyone's tired at the end of the day, either.
If I talk about it when everyone's grumpy already, I'll be making things worse and it'll be my fault. It always is my fault, because I'm the one who calls the family meeting or makes it necessary to be called, and then I cry.
If I try to talk about it when everyone's happy, it's my fault because I'll make everyone upset.
If I try to talk about it when people don't have to go to bed immediately, I'm interrupting their recreation/movie/game time.
If I try to talk about it when people aren't trying to game or anything, I'm interrupting bedtime.
Family meetings don't work if I can't call them, and I'm afraid to.
I don't feel secure enough in myself to bring them up when it's obvious that everyone's tired at the end of the day, either.
If I talk about it when everyone's grumpy already, I'll be making things worse and it'll be my fault. It always is my fault, because I'm the one who calls the family meeting or makes it necessary to be called, and then I cry.
If I try to talk about it when everyone's happy, it's my fault because I'll make everyone upset.
If I try to talk about it when people don't have to go to bed immediately, I'm interrupting their recreation/movie/game time.
If I try to talk about it when people aren't trying to game or anything, I'm interrupting bedtime.
Family meetings don't work if I can't call them, and I'm afraid to.
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