Damage so far:

[azurelunatic]

• I'm a shitty parent-type


• I alienate all my friends


• I'm a slob and don't do my share of housework (which is true: the notable function of the task lists has been to make me feel guilty about doing things that need to be done that are someone else's responsibility, and therefore I don't always do all of mine, which makes me feel worse about asking others to do their share)


• My roommates can't stand me


• Darkside secretly hates me and thinks I should just go away because I'm a psycho stalker


• If my Pretty really knew me, she wouldn't like me


• I should not have pets because I do not take good care of them


• I should give up at school because I could never take the stress of a real job if I can't take the stress of a shitty job and I might as well stop wasting my money

However, I haven't been looking at my wrists. I haven't been looking up plane tickets home. I haven't been apartment-hunting for studio apartments.

Comments

[chorus-of-chaos.livejournal.com]

awww...azz. I have days like this two, it seems the whole world is telling me to fuck off. I usually go watch anime with lots of popcorn and ignore the world, and before long some of it comes back and says it's sorry.

[azurelunatic]

I think I figured out the primary factor in this one. Joanie no baka...

[kiwiria.livejournal.com]

Honey, I'm so sorry you feel this way. *hugs*

[hookncrook.livejournal.com]

You are feeling this way, but no one views you this way. You are just feeling down, but know that you are loved by so many people.

[azurelunatic]

Sometimes it's so hard to remember...

[tsjafo.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

I alienate all my friends

Not if I count as a friend. It is impossible to alienate me. :D

Darkside secretly hates me and thinks I should just go away because I'm a psycho stalker

Nope. Darkside doesn't do anything secretly, hon. If he hated you, believe me, he'd LET YOU KNOW. He'd never talk to you for hours on the phone. He wouldn't hang on, and have to be pryed off of you...err...we mean, off the phone. :)

If my Pretty really knew me, she wouldn't like me

She does know you. She does like you.

You know this is the hormones talking. You know the time of the month. You know that if you make it through the week you'll be all right. You want to slash something, make a calendar for the week, and slash each day up as it comes to an end, because at the end of the week, you'll be all right, and you'll know this nonsense for what it is - no sense. We love you. Darkside loves you. Pretty loves you.

Anyway, I know what week it is. The phone's handy where it *ought* to wake somebody up if you call late at night. :)

[azurelunatic]

Oddly enough, I'm feeling a hell of a lot better now that I've taken off that fucking mental condom.

[sithjawa.livejournal.com]

Of course it's a fucking condom, it wouldn't be much use otherwise, now would it?

*boof**Hugs*

I bounce at you, 'cause. um. hi!*hugs*

[azurelunatic]

*snicker* Don't know. There are also keyboard condoms.

Randomly, I always thought that modem and condom sounded too much alike.

Oh, and if someone called swallowtayle flirts with you, she's my baby sister.

And you need to join youngwizards too.

And you're pretty. And hugs are good.

[azurelunatic]

You do count as a friend. And that's good to know.


Good point. And he wouldn't go into a nervous flurry and have his bedroom *spotless* when he was told that I was coming over. (Except for the... thing.) And he wouldn't stand there like an overheated chicken when I hugged him, either. And he wouldn't hit me over the head. And he wouldn't kick me in the pants.


Hormones, or the mental condom. Mental condom (well, actually, it's more like a mental diaphagm or mental cervical cap) put on for masturbation means that I can't send much in Darkside's direction, and I won't be able to touch him other than feeling the spillover carrier wave from around the edges of the link.

Whenever I leave him blocked, I get depressive and panicky. That, added to the hormones (it's got to be about that time) means that I just got a double-whammy; triple, if you count that my sleeping schedule was all wonky, which I do.

[azurelunatic]

What I did last night, was I went, curled up in bed, and knew that if Darkside could see me right then, he would be sitting next to me, holding my hand or petting my hair, telling me that it was silly to doubt that he was there or that, despite all odds, he was my friend and did care about me quite a bit.