Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2001-10-14 12:35 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2001-10-14 12:35 pm
The Horror of Shopping for Bargains
Votania went to the store the other day and got the cheapest hot dogs.
She really should not have done this. Now we've got a package of hot dogs that stand a 70% chance of making everybody that lives in this house sick.
You see, my sister Votania used to be able to eat pork. She loved bacon. Her mom cooked pork a lot and she was able to eat it.
Then Votania got religion. This religion is one of the many that has prohibitions against eating the flesh of swine. She disregarded the prohibition for the most part, but soon found that she got physically ill when she ate pork of any form, even to the point of pepperoni on a pizza.
We discovered on the 4th of July that Nephew also does not respond well to pork. When Grandma serves him pork, he turns up his nose and doesn't eat the stuff. Smart boy. But when it's in hot dogs, he often eats it... and if he's feeling the least bit unsettled of stomach beforehand, we get fireworks in the toilet.
I am not entirely immune. While I haven't puked my guts out over pork, I have found that the smell of crispy bacon in the cafeteria in the mornings is no longer half so appetizing as it used to be. I've never been a fan of great vast chunks of cooked swineflesh; the only form it tempts me in is bacon. The taste of pork hot dogs has always symbolized poor quality and poverty to me; I go for the kosher all-beef ones (and promptly make them non-kosher by adding cheese, but that's another story).
This hazardous package of turkey/pork/beef hot dogs is sitting in our refrigerator now. I am eating two for lunch.
If I puke my guts out today, we'll all know the most likely reason why.
She really should not have done this. Now we've got a package of hot dogs that stand a 70% chance of making everybody that lives in this house sick.
You see, my sister Votania used to be able to eat pork. She loved bacon. Her mom cooked pork a lot and she was able to eat it.
Then Votania got religion. This religion is one of the many that has prohibitions against eating the flesh of swine. She disregarded the prohibition for the most part, but soon found that she got physically ill when she ate pork of any form, even to the point of pepperoni on a pizza.
We discovered on the 4th of July that Nephew also does not respond well to pork. When Grandma serves him pork, he turns up his nose and doesn't eat the stuff. Smart boy. But when it's in hot dogs, he often eats it... and if he's feeling the least bit unsettled of stomach beforehand, we get fireworks in the toilet.
I am not entirely immune. While I haven't puked my guts out over pork, I have found that the smell of crispy bacon in the cafeteria in the mornings is no longer half so appetizing as it used to be. I've never been a fan of great vast chunks of cooked swineflesh; the only form it tempts me in is bacon. The taste of pork hot dogs has always symbolized poor quality and poverty to me; I go for the kosher all-beef ones (and promptly make them non-kosher by adding cheese, but that's another story).
This hazardous package of turkey/pork/beef hot dogs is sitting in our refrigerator now. I am eating two for lunch.
If I puke my guts out today, we'll all know the most likely reason why.