Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-06-24 10:17 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2003-06-24 10:17 pm
Self-knowledge, enforced
I really do have a most appalling habit of jumping in and running things for everyone, and then getting called on it, and being sorry about it, having not really realized it... and then I go and do it the next time.
Also, I'm a chameleon. This is getting hammered home to me more and more. I put on the face that's expected, because when I show who I am, I'm not taken well.
When I have to wear many masks, or masks for any length of time, I grow into them. It becomes part of me, extending me. Like adding a library. But these libraries, once added, can't be easily removed, as core functionality starts to use them...
When I'm accepted for who I am, entirely, the needed bits of the libraries begin translating themselves into the main program area, in easy-to-use, simple, elegant format. Then the library isn't used anymore, even though the functionality remains. Eventually, the library is removed, as it's shown that it adds nothing by being there.
Also, I'm a chameleon. This is getting hammered home to me more and more. I put on the face that's expected, because when I show who I am, I'm not taken well.
When I have to wear many masks, or masks for any length of time, I grow into them. It becomes part of me, extending me. Like adding a library. But these libraries, once added, can't be easily removed, as core functionality starts to use them...
When I'm accepted for who I am, entirely, the needed bits of the libraries begin translating themselves into the main program area, in easy-to-use, simple, elegant format. Then the library isn't used anymore, even though the functionality remains. Eventually, the library is removed, as it's shown that it adds nothing by being there.