"It's this whole religion thing, you see."

[azurelunatic]

The army called, asking me if I wanted a job; had I ever considered working for the US army?

I had considered it, once upon a time. I did have a friend in the army, but I haven't heard from him in over a month. After I considered the army, I got smart, and then I got into the whole "harm none" thing. I explained as much to the recruiter. "It's this whole religion thing, you see. I don't kill people, and I don't help people kill people."

"What if we found you a job that didn't involve killing people?"

"Naaah."

I proceeded to try and extract from the recruiter the best way to get in touch with my old friend Dave through the army. He had no real clue, but he's going to see if there's any way he can look up a place where I could look up where to mail something to him, at his last known military assignment.

Comments

oh

[marlowe1.livejournal.com]

Not even jobs as translators or as medics? I mean you are still helping people kill people, but you're also helping people kill people if you don't kill people some time (take for instance the fourth plane on Sep. 11 -- they hindered people from killing people in the only way that they could -- by killing the people that were trying to kill people)

Besides that once Afghanistan is liberated from the Taliban the United States is going to need a lot of engineering talent, because the only way to truly win this war is to rebuild Afghanistan like we rebuilt Japan and Germany after WWII (thus avoiding the 10 year stalemate war with Iraq that happened when the U.S. bombed and left) and that will save a lot more lives in the long run.

Re: oh

[azurelunatic]

Everything we do causes death.

I just have this general prejudice against the US army as a whole (I was not led to be impressed with it with the little interaction with it I've had, and friends and family of mine who have been more closely associated with it tend to back up my opinion) and enjoy playing with the minds of specific people in the army who are trying to get me to join their cause.

...This is about the fourth or fifth time the army has called, trying to recruit me. I don't think I would be suited to a career with the army; I'm insubordinate, unruly, chaotic, bizarre, bisexual, smartassed, and I hate golf with a passion.

As I work market research, I am in the perfect karmic position to mess with the minds of people attempting to telemarket me.

Re: oh

[lasayla.livejournal.com]

Goood golf skills are a requirement for joining the US army now?

Re: oh

[azurelunatic]

From the reports I've heard from friends (and the number of army and ex-army people I've seen who are obsessed with golf) then yes, I would say that being obsessed with golf, if not good at it, would be a requirement for the army. Not necessarily a requirement for joining up, but you'd come out of it a golfer.

My friend Darkside's dad is ex-military. Poor Darkside gets abducted by the golf aliens every weekend unless he can prove he's got overwhelming homework (which, sadly for his free time, but happily for his non-golfing, has been a lot lately). Of the army/ex-army people I know, only my friend Dave has proven immune from the golf bug -- to show his deep and abiding feelings for the "sport", he takes golf balls to the shooting range. Some of his fellow officers looked like they were about to cry when he blew the thing to bits...