Morning

[azurelunatic]

Yet another day, and I'm awake after only a few hours of sleep, and contemplating the wisdom of the gremliness when she says:

"Oh, and you were asking the other day why you're not a 'celebrity' -- I thought on it, and I think it has to do with style. shadesong has a sort of grand sense of drama, timing, storytelling, etc running throughout her LJ -- which isn't to say that you don't, but that it's not in the forefront quite so much. Like, you have more shopping lists and silly Harry Potter things and such. Which, again, is perfectly all right, and nifty, but not larger-than-life."

I'm a little disappointed with this perception of me, and a little not. It's utterly accurate. That's what's been going on with me, lately. I haven't really been doing much, or thinking much about what I'm doing, and it's been showing. But then, I don't really want to make a theatrical production out of things, as that's just not quite my style. As much as I think of myself as possibly having an epic story of a life to tell, speaking for the ages takes effort, and I haven't had quite that level of energy over this break. It's been my time to kick back, relax, and get books slurped up.

I'm tempted to label this vacation a time of sitting on things and mulling them over. I recently re-read the archives of this journal, starting from May 2001. The task took a month. Then, I started reading books to both reboot my brain and catch up on 50bookchallenge. Now, I'm trying to regain my physical and emotional strength to handle school this upcoming tri (Monday, back to the grind!) and I really haven't had much in the way of stimulation from the outside world, excepting the 13th and 14th's glamourbombing runs.

Why am I hermiting? I couldn't tell you. I just know that I am. Perhaps it's to tell me that I should be digging more things out of the depths of my brain so that I can look at them. Perhaps it's in preparation for something bigger.

I suspect we'll start to see on Monday.

Comments

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

Oooh, that and you're CRYPTIC. *giggle*

I'm a little disappointed with this perception of me, and a little not. It's utterly accurate.

Actually, it's not a perception of you, dearheart, so much as it is a difference in the styles of the writing of your journals. She writes for dramatic effect, almost singularly. Every single entry is written with the audience in mind, the knowledge that they're there, with flair, with style...whether consciously or not, she writes to entertain. Yes, she writes her own life, and she's keeping a journal, and a community...but she's an entertainer. That's what she Is, not just what she does. I am not, at heart, a Writer. It's one of the things I do, and one of the things that will not let me put it down, but it's not one of the things that I Am. She *IS* a Writer. She IS an Entertainer. Shy or not (and many Entertainers are), she is putting on a show everytime she puts herself out there.

I manage to put myself in public by forcibly demanding that I am Not Putting On A Show; I'm just me. :D

[azurelunatic]

Ah. Whereas I'm not an Entertainer, I'm a Writer, and my subject at the moment happens to be me. This is interspersed with little notes to myself that I would be making that would be probably written down on scratch paper if I were doing this as a paper journal.