Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2001-10-23 01:08 am
azurelunatic) wrote2001-10-23 01:08 am
Epic
I want to have a grand romance.
I don't know if Adam is the sort of person that has grand romances. Does he? I want something bigger than the world, the sort of thing that makes Romeo and Juliet look like Tim and Sally five years old on the playground.
I want to be seen.
When I go out, I'm going to flame like Norma Jean, like a meteor, like the piece of satellite that digs a furrow a skyscraper deep in the ground.
It's the music. Bringing back the melodrama. I already had it, the epic. Shawn. We were forever. it burned out in black smoke and shame and larger than life sex, perpetually in that too-clean moment right after the shower, your skin just barely dry, all shaven clean, still naked under the clothing.
that's what we were. we were the sleep we needed. echoes in an empty room. religion? atheist. we were the gods. narcissus.
a sound as big as the speakers could crank. it always had a soundtrack, that gold and purple and black and crimson summer, the sex and the Taco Bell and the crisp blue air and gold birch leaves and frost at night. blazing neon pink sunset all night long.
i could have slept so happy in his arms. virago bitch that he made me; sadistic bastard that i turned him into.
we were so wrong, but i loved him so much.
here's to you, shawn. blessed be, and though the fire of that year may be gone, the edgy sparkle/edged drug haze that i saw you through, that you looked through in the mirror, you'll keep on.
no blaze of glory for us going down. fade away through black smoke and emerge the other side sepiatoned, mundane. a father. an auntie, a three to ten job, school. sepiatone and shopping for groceries not midnight cravings. all the notes of this music tug me in some direction other than the new life i've made for myself raising up a family, every note says get drunk off your ass and kiss shawn, kiss darkside again, share with both, find david, find rocki, find [the] river.
r.e.m. said it all. they always do. so much better than my broken lines. not even proper poetry here, no caps because I'm too damn lazy.
i am a vision, illusion.
I don't know if Adam is the sort of person that has grand romances. Does he? I want something bigger than the world, the sort of thing that makes Romeo and Juliet look like Tim and Sally five years old on the playground.
I want to be seen.
When I go out, I'm going to flame like Norma Jean, like a meteor, like the piece of satellite that digs a furrow a skyscraper deep in the ground.
It's the music. Bringing back the melodrama. I already had it, the epic. Shawn. We were forever. it burned out in black smoke and shame and larger than life sex, perpetually in that too-clean moment right after the shower, your skin just barely dry, all shaven clean, still naked under the clothing.
that's what we were. we were the sleep we needed. echoes in an empty room. religion? atheist. we were the gods. narcissus.
a sound as big as the speakers could crank. it always had a soundtrack, that gold and purple and black and crimson summer, the sex and the Taco Bell and the crisp blue air and gold birch leaves and frost at night. blazing neon pink sunset all night long.
i could have slept so happy in his arms. virago bitch that he made me; sadistic bastard that i turned him into.
we were so wrong, but i loved him so much.
here's to you, shawn. blessed be, and though the fire of that year may be gone, the edgy sparkle/edged drug haze that i saw you through, that you looked through in the mirror, you'll keep on.
no blaze of glory for us going down. fade away through black smoke and emerge the other side sepiatoned, mundane. a father. an auntie, a three to ten job, school. sepiatone and shopping for groceries not midnight cravings. all the notes of this music tug me in some direction other than the new life i've made for myself raising up a family, every note says get drunk off your ass and kiss shawn, kiss darkside again, share with both, find david, find rocki, find [the] river.
r.e.m. said it all. they always do. so much better than my broken lines. not even proper poetry here, no caps because I'm too damn lazy.
i am a vision, illusion.