Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-07-31 10:47 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2003-07-31 10:47 pm
Eeeek.
Quite a discussionload. Quite. Pizza is my friend.
Now that the cryptography's passed, the other reason for the eek: furniture-moving night. Everything's getting shuffled around yet again.
Eeeek #3: Little Fayoumis disobeyed![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
marxdarx bigtime yesterday, and got exceptionally grounded as a result.
Parenting style difference: I prefer to use corner and grounding together, rather than just admonishment and grounding with only occasional use of the corner.
It's the idea of immediate reinforcement vs. delayed reinforcement. He intellectually understands that when he's bad, bad things happen, but it's more difficult to link "I did something and I was told I was grounded" and "I want to do this but I can't because I'm grounded." The punishment does not take immediate effect, and the reaction to it, the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, does not happen immediately following the bad action, which is why I don't think it's as effective.
A trip to the corner, on the other hand, is *immediate*, and he does not like it, and he can very easily connect action with consequences. It can be followed up with as much grounding as necessary, but I think that all things that deserve getting grounded deserve a trip to the corner as well, if it's not something that can immediately be taken away from him (for example, taking a toy out of his hands and putting it up, turning off the movie).
Hell, even grown-ups have trouble with internalizing the idea of delayed consequences. "I know I'm going to have a hangover tomorrow morning... ah hell, I'll have one more beer, it can't hurt." flash forward "Ghaaa, ugggghhhh, why'd I drink that extra beer? Never again..." flash forward three weeks "Eh, what's one more beer going to hurt?"
Now that the cryptography's passed, the other reason for the eek: furniture-moving night. Everything's getting shuffled around yet again.
Eeeek #3: Little Fayoumis disobeyed
marxdarx bigtime yesterday, and got exceptionally grounded as a result. Parenting style difference: I prefer to use corner and grounding together, rather than just admonishment and grounding with only occasional use of the corner.
It's the idea of immediate reinforcement vs. delayed reinforcement. He intellectually understands that when he's bad, bad things happen, but it's more difficult to link "I did something and I was told I was grounded" and "I want to do this but I can't because I'm grounded." The punishment does not take immediate effect, and the reaction to it, the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, does not happen immediately following the bad action, which is why I don't think it's as effective.
A trip to the corner, on the other hand, is *immediate*, and he does not like it, and he can very easily connect action with consequences. It can be followed up with as much grounding as necessary, but I think that all things that deserve getting grounded deserve a trip to the corner as well, if it's not something that can immediately be taken away from him (for example, taking a toy out of his hands and putting it up, turning off the movie).
Hell, even grown-ups have trouble with internalizing the idea of delayed consequences. "I know I'm going to have a hangover tomorrow morning... ah hell, I'll have one more beer, it can't hurt." flash forward "Ghaaa, ugggghhhh, why'd I drink that extra beer? Never again..." flash forward three weeks "Eh, what's one more beer going to hurt?"