Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-08-04 06:28 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2003-08-04 06:28 pm
Feeling good....
...and also quiet as anything. Talked with Darkside for a good 45 minutes. It was good. There were a lot of silences, but there were also some very good things talked about. Apologized for being such a pain when he was trying to kick my ass towards being whole. At least when he orders me, I obey.
It's such a fascinating and full feeling when I get off the phone. There's so much inside me that to let it all out in person would be an explosion, and would possibly involve nudity. So I'm very, very quiet. I don't have to proclaim "Me! Me! This is me! Love me! Pay attention to me!" from the treetops, as I am known, inside and out.
"I love you crazy just because.
I love you madly just because.
You turn me on
My attentions are turned to you..."
Forward momentum is a lot of fun. But he -- he brings me to that stillness, the place where I don't have to run, and have no need to hide from him, which I can't anyway.
I decided long ago that I liked the me I was around him the best of all, and I've been working to bring the me that I am most of the time into closer agreement with the me I am around him. I've been made happier, with more love, less sorrow. More whole.
It's such a fascinating and full feeling when I get off the phone. There's so much inside me that to let it all out in person would be an explosion, and would possibly involve nudity. So I'm very, very quiet. I don't have to proclaim "Me! Me! This is me! Love me! Pay attention to me!" from the treetops, as I am known, inside and out.
"I love you crazy just because.
I love you madly just because.
You turn me on
My attentions are turned to you..."
Forward momentum is a lot of fun. But he -- he brings me to that stillness, the place where I don't have to run, and have no need to hide from him, which I can't anyway.
I decided long ago that I liked the me I was around him the best of all, and I've been working to bring the me that I am most of the time into closer agreement with the me I am around him. I've been made happier, with more love, less sorrow. More whole.
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We all need an ass-whole in our lives. Heee!
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*cackles*