Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-08-05 08:06 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2003-08-05 08:06 pm
Frustration
No, of course you can't just tell him to do something, leave him alone, and expect it done. You have to hound him every minute, and tell him the moment he gets off-task, and yes, this is normal for that age group.
The issue with disobedience, though, is when he does not pick up his pencil and start writing when I tell him to work, and when he starts scratching himself for no apparent reason when I tell him to stop playing and start writing.
You really and truly can do the dishes, or pick up the living room, or do *$%&@! near anything while he's working -- as long as you pop in and out every minute or two to remind him to work, not play. You only have to sit next to him and do things for him and get the Golden Hand Award* for the first few minutes, and then keep up the regular reminders to get back on task.
I know this. I've known it for a long time. It's not new to me. I get frustrated when he won't remember to do two simple tasks in a row (the command "Brush your teeth after you get a drink of water" results in no drink and brushed teeth, or water and teeth still scuzzy) but I have no problem with poking him back on task every minute, give or take 30 seconds. I've been frustrated with the "tell him to do it and leave him" thing.
*The Golden Hand Award was a notional award presented by my father to pushy parents who were clearly shoving their child every inch of the way through amazing accomplishments, such as science fair projects or an instrument or other things like 4-H or Pony Club.
The issue with disobedience, though, is when he does not pick up his pencil and start writing when I tell him to work, and when he starts scratching himself for no apparent reason when I tell him to stop playing and start writing.
You really and truly can do the dishes, or pick up the living room, or do *$%&@! near anything while he's working -- as long as you pop in and out every minute or two to remind him to work, not play. You only have to sit next to him and do things for him and get the Golden Hand Award* for the first few minutes, and then keep up the regular reminders to get back on task.
I know this. I've known it for a long time. It's not new to me. I get frustrated when he won't remember to do two simple tasks in a row (the command "Brush your teeth after you get a drink of water" results in no drink and brushed teeth, or water and teeth still scuzzy) but I have no problem with poking him back on task every minute, give or take 30 seconds. I've been frustrated with the "tell him to do it and leave him" thing.
*The Golden Hand Award was a notional award presented by my father to pushy parents who were clearly shoving their child every inch of the way through amazing accomplishments, such as science fair projects or an instrument or other things like 4-H or Pony Club.
Inattentiveness
If suspect your child may have the same, it is worth your time to have him neurologically tested. Often, esp. with Ausberger's, traditional punishments don't work and just end up stressing the child when they really want to do what you ask.
Re: Inattentiveness
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God, yes. This is one of my biggest frustration points. I tell him to clean his room, and I basically end up standing over him orchestrating the whole thing. But he does know he can't have the scared television back until it's done. Lately it's been good to tell him, "Tell me when you think you're done." Then I can go in and critique. "The junk on top of the shelf has to go", etc. So then he does that and calls me in again. Much less of a hassle.
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I often stand up and forget what I stood up to do, but that's fibrofog....I've taken to keeping a small notebook handy and writing EVERYTHING down, or even writing on my hands and arms to help me remember until it's completed. Amuses my therapist to no end!
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I understand your frustration, and admire your patience!
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