Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-08-11 11:10 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2003-08-11 11:10 pm
Functionality
Learned something today. Marah's evidently the one who can keep functioning even when we're in the "hell" portion of the cycle.
You see, I call it "bitchy witchy week" for a reason.
27 days of the month, I am a sweetheart, angel, reasonable person, or grumpy sleep-depped-stressed dratsab as the fates and alarm clocks dictate. But there is a rhyme, there is a reason, to my moods.
For a few crucial hours at some points of my cycle, right before the bleeding starts, I become all-out psycho. Someone does me a favor, and I snap back at them because they have not done it in the exact way I would have done things. I am unable to accomplish the most simple of tasks, and I react badly to myself when this happens. I usually end up a screaming, crying, inward-stabbing mess, and the only two people who have regularly been able to talk me down from that mental state are Darkside and![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
iroshi.
When there's something that's bothering me to fix on, I will normally go all haywire over that, and that is something that can get worked out.
But if there's nothing big going on that anyone can do anything about? If I've been talking to Darkside on a regular basis and he's been making me feel held and cherished and paid attention to and cared for? If the household situation is fine? If we have enough money?
Then I will just freak out about nothing. It's almost scarier that way.
You see, I call it "bitchy witchy week" for a reason.
27 days of the month, I am a sweetheart, angel, reasonable person, or grumpy sleep-depped-stressed dratsab as the fates and alarm clocks dictate. But there is a rhyme, there is a reason, to my moods.
For a few crucial hours at some points of my cycle, right before the bleeding starts, I become all-out psycho. Someone does me a favor, and I snap back at them because they have not done it in the exact way I would have done things. I am unable to accomplish the most simple of tasks, and I react badly to myself when this happens. I usually end up a screaming, crying, inward-stabbing mess, and the only two people who have regularly been able to talk me down from that mental state are Darkside and
iroshi. When there's something that's bothering me to fix on, I will normally go all haywire over that, and that is something that can get worked out.
But if there's nothing big going on that anyone can do anything about? If I've been talking to Darkside on a regular basis and he's been making me feel held and cherished and paid attention to and cared for? If the household situation is fine? If we have enough money?
Then I will just freak out about nothing. It's almost scarier that way.
no subject
I go through aggro/psycho swings during the winter months, not so much summer...but I can definitely empathize, sometimes all you can is plant your ass in front of the tv and refuse to think until it's over.
sometimes dissassociation can be a good thing.
no subject
no subject