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azurelunatic) wrote2003-08-25 08:18 am
Habanero stories
Back in the day, the late 80s or early 90s, my father worked in an office with a nice assortment of people, and he brought home stories.
There was one character that he worked with who he described as a "womenist", or maybe it was "wimminist", because that's how he said it. He had, for the record, no problem whatsoever with males and females being treated equally, and got along well with most of the people in his building. Unfortunately, this person was a female chauvinist pig, and her stance on things was that all men were scum and out to prove that she was a second-class citizen. This attitude, not surprisingly, earned her a well-deserved reputation for being an unpleasant person who was to be avoided.
Enter the habenero peppers.
One fellow had been growing habenero peppers at home, and had brought one in to share. My father happened to be in the right place at the right time. My father loves hot peppers, the hotter the better. We went through Tabasco sauce on a regular basis. He listened to the guy's warning that they were strong and he should try a small bit to see how hot they were, and accepted a small slice. He took a tiny nibble, as he was familiar with the properties of peppers (bite now, feel it later) and waited, and sure enough, this was a *good* strong pepper, and it maybe made him tear up a bit, and he was respectfully eating the rest of the piece.
Enter our "womanist". She saw the hot peppers, and the guys eating them, and wanted to share in the experience. The guy whose peppers they were cautioned her that they were very strong, and perhaps she should start with a small bit.
This, of course, was a Male Plot To Show How Weak She Was, despite the fact that some of the men present had very small slices and were nibbling at them cautiously, so she took a whole pepper and just bit right in.
The habenero hit. She spit it out into a nearby trashcan and went running for the bathroom to wash out her flaming mouth.
It probably wouldn't have been so funny if it had been anyone else.
After learning about the joys of habanero peppers, my father was eager to spread the joy to everyone else he knew who liked hot peppers. So he brought some pickled habaneros to a New Year's party. The host was delighted, and impressed with the power of the pepper ... and should have remembered to wash his hands before taking out his contact lenses. YOW!
A cautionary tale from a friend-of-a-friend-of-a...
...If you feel that you must cook in the nude, perhaps it is wiser to alter this habit if you are preserving habanero peppers, especially if you are male.
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At least he didn't do what a friend of my dad's did, cleaned out a hot pepper with his finger, then went to take a piss without washing his hands first...according to the story, everyone heard a LOUD scream from the bathroom. It hurt so badly the guy jumped straight into the shower with his tux on. *winces*
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