I did not eat the doughnut.

[azurelunatic]

I do not, just do not get the whole Krispy Kreme phenomenon.

First, it's misspelled. Things that are misspelled that I am not already fond of give me the grumps and the pfffts. Yes, that's their name. No, the words in their name are not real words.

Second. They're not even good doughnuts. They're kind of hard and crusty, and I prefer my doughnuts relatively soft. I like to be able to eat doughnuts if I get a big ol' box of unfresh-at-the-end-of-the-day ones. Krispy Kreme doughnuts feel as if they could be used as hockey pucks or lethal weapons at the end of the day.

Third. I have this aversion to mass-produced shit, and I have a liking for doughnuts that are a little more individual-looking. Krispy Kremes look like the Barbie dolls of the doughnut world, only with less eye makeup. The frosted ones have precisely placed circles of frosting. This is creepy the way that the scene in A Wrinkle in Time (I think?) with the children playing the exact same game in the exact same way was. (That was the scene that made me put down the book because it was too scary.)

Fourth. The name disgusts me. This is apart from the spelling, which is nauseating in its own right. I do not think of doughnuts as being either crispy or creamy, unless it's a Bismark, in which case a certain amount of cream is a given. My mental image next jumps to dry, crusty underwear and the sort of sock that should be picked up while wearing gloves and holding one of those long trash-pick-up-sticks. Neither of those images are particularly appetizing.

Granted, I've never had a hot, fresh Krispy Kreme doughnut. I have been told that people did not get what the whole Krispy Kreme experience was all about until they had one hot and fresh, and that it is inconceivable that I would not get it after I'd had one. I've also come to the realization that when I am indifferent about something, I can be swayed, but when I already think badly of something, I am far less likely to be convinced that it's awesome.


[edit: you can discern my current mental state by the fact that I just coded an LJ cut wrong, and tried to close an italics tag with </a>.]

Comments

[ywalme.livejournal.com]

Krispy Kremes have an absurdly short lifespan, is the problem. Yes, get them fresh and they're good (but it's more fun to watch the machine that makes them), but if you wait more than even a couple hours they're just.. bleh.

[azurelunatic]

*nods* That violates one of my main criteria for good pastry.

[nilodlien.livejournal.com]

Yes, it was "A Wrinkle in Time" - which you might want to give another try. Great read.

[azurelunatic]

I think I'm grown-up enough now.

[tidesong.livejournal.com]

It really is true, though. When you get one hot and fresh off the line, you'll understand. I was the same way before I had my first hot one.

[azurelunatic]

*still is doubtful*

boojum has had years to understand my tastes. I'll go with her on this one for the interim.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Eh. I've had the KK's fresh and I've had other doughnuts fresh. Any doughnut so fresh it is still warm tastes really good. But the Krispy Kream doughnuts aren't better than any other doughnut while fresh. No, really. Go down to your Kroger's or King Soopers or whatever you have first thing in the morning and try one of their doughnuts. They're better than the KK's. Only slightly at the piping hot state, but still better.

For my money I'd rather go to Del Mar's if I'm going to buy a too expensive doughnut. Or best yet, mix up my own batter and do it on my own stove. That way they won't be as absurdly over sweetened as most doughnuts.

True there is a sort of Centerville Tales fascination to watching the machine work, but the doughnuts aren't that good.

[boojum.livejournal.com]

Heroin in the frosting.

I've had them a few times, at least once fresh off the machine[1]. They're light and fluffy and sugary. To my tastes, they're consistently mediocre -- I prefer dense and rich glazed old-fashioneds -- but I can see them being right up some people's alleys. I don't understand the massive cult phenomenon, though. A franchise recently opened in Beaverton and needed a formal redirection of traffic flow for weeks, even at midnight. I don't get it. I can't think of any food item that would make me wait in a drivethrough line for an hour.

(As a side note, misspelling of food names is often done for legal reasons. "Crab cakes" are required to contain a certain amount of crustacean; "krab cakes" are not.)

[1] The Krispy Kreme machine is neat to watch, but not as much fun as a saltwater taffy maker.

[azurelunatic]

I grok the legal-reason thing. The spelling still has my Grammar Bitch nerves doing bad things to me.

Re: Krispy Kremes

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

I don't get it either. I've had them fresh off the line. Given one while standing in line too. I suspect if I could get one without the five pounds of sugar coating on every donought, I'd enjoy it more. As you might guess, I think they are a bit on the too sweet side. They're decent but many places have better donoughts.

Re: Krispy Kremes

[azurelunatic]

That sounds like it would make my teeth hurt.

Krispy Kremes

[popefelix.livejournal.com]

are a decent doughnut, especially around here. I have yet to find a place in town whose doughnuts I prefer. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure where else there is to get doughnuts in town.

Fresh and hot, they're pretty good, but they overdo it on the glaze.

Re: Krispy Kremes

[azurelunatic]

Y'know, I think that's the strategy Bill Gates used.

[elance.livejournal.com]

I like Krispy Kremes, but not much more than I like any other doughnut, and doughnuts are not much of a "thing" for me.

They're okay, but if I'm going to have something fattening anyway, I'd rather have hot, fresh, cookies.

Or Milka.

[azurelunatic]

What's Milka?

[sithjawa.livejournal.com]

I like Krispy kremes. I don't like donuts.

My first KK (wow, that sounds sketchy) was straight off the line, v. good. I like the fact that they're lighter and less mouth-drying than other donuts, and I like the melt-all-over-you glaze.

I do not, generally, like any donut over two hours old. Sometimes it is better than no sugar fix, and I do like maple donuts because they're the closest one can get to maple candy for much of the year. But as a general rule, non-fresh donuts do nothing for me.

So I think I like KKs because they're different from normal donuts, and because since they're crappy when old, they're usually fresh.

[azurelunatic]

When I go shopping, all doughnuts are old. So, I like the ones that are best.

Doughnuts-of-best-fit!

[kdorian.livejournal.com]

I like Krispy kremes. I don't like donuts.

Ditto. I was also a 'I don't get it' till I had my first hot one. I'll eat them when they aren't hot, but hot is much better.

[thette.livejournal.com]

I think you're getting Swedish vibes, if you think KK sounds sketchy.

KK stands for knullkompis (fuckbuddy).

And, yuk, there my mind treated me to unwanted images. Bad mind. No donuts.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Granted, I've never had a hot, fresh Krispy Kreme doughnut. I have been told that people did not get what the whole Krispy Kreme experience was all about until they had one hot and fresh

That's what did it for me. When I was married the first time, Krispy Kreme used to bring the airmen donuts. And by the time Chris brought 'em hot, they were cold and ucky.

But eating one hot TOTALLY converted me.

[azurelunatic]

That's 'home' where that first 'hot' is, right?

I'm of the "You'll have to prove it to me" mindstate on this one.

[phinnia.livejournal.com]

I'm sort of halfway there. I prefer Tim Hortons' doughnuts - which is pretty much an indication of my canadian-ness. Those are a lot softer and nicer.

[nalidoll.livejournal.com]

i don't like them. i have had them hot, and not-so.. and they are icky.

i am a Dunkin Donuts girl. their coffee is better (divine), and the donuts are not only good right away, they are good later in the day.. and we have discovered, with the donut-holes, that tho there is a period of not-so-happy after they have been sitting for a long while, they do revert to happy again later. (ok.. so that was a really weird, long-after-the-party-but-before-cleanup discovery.)

they are more like the donuts we made at home, from the recipe that only existed in my gramma's head.

[ornjkitty.livejournal.com]

When I was a kid, we used to get those Polish jelly doughnuts (with the blackberry filling) once a year for Christmas. I think they came in the freezer section of the grocery store. Those were SUBLIME.
Now, there being a Dunkin' Donut on every street corner, I do not care as much for them. The Boston Creme are passable, and around Halloween I like the pumpkin and apple cider doughnuts they have at the supermarket, but I can't say that I care much for doughnuts as a general rule. (Not saying that I won't eat them ... but they seem to be MADE stale. Maybe it's just me, but uggghhh!)

[azurelunatic]

I am weird and do not like cake doughnuts.