Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2003-12-26 12:33 am
azurelunatic) wrote2003-12-26 12:33 am
When is a friend not a friend?
I think I'm missing one friend.
Back in elementary school, high school, first my sister, and then I, had a friend. She was lots of fun, a great person to be around, intelligent, insightful, with a great sense of humor.
We got to be pretty close. We would spend hours talking about stuff -- stuff in specific, stuff in general, witchy/pagan stuff, LBG stuff. The three of us -- me, Queenie, and Savil -- were the Witchy Dykey Coalition, or something like that.
We both went our separate ways after high school, and we corresponded after I hit DeVry.
Then she got a boyfriend. Not just any boyfriend -- a Christian boyfriend who wasn't comfortable with any of the witchy/bi stuff.
Now, according to the other chicks from my sister's side of the old gang, she's claiming that she's always been Christian, always been straight.
I have no objection if someone, after considering it, decides that the conclusions they came to earlier in life were mistaken, and that they should be doing different things with their life. I do object when someone who was dear to me, who poured their heart out to me, begins to rewrite their past, and holds a position that means that all my memories are lies.
I still miss her. I hope she knows that I still want to be friends. I hope she knows that if it's her Will to remake herself, that I'll accept that. My best friend is Christian. Christianity is not the problem. What I won't accept is her lying to herself.
Back in elementary school, high school, first my sister, and then I, had a friend. She was lots of fun, a great person to be around, intelligent, insightful, with a great sense of humor.
We got to be pretty close. We would spend hours talking about stuff -- stuff in specific, stuff in general, witchy/pagan stuff, LBG stuff. The three of us -- me, Queenie, and Savil -- were the Witchy Dykey Coalition, or something like that.
We both went our separate ways after high school, and we corresponded after I hit DeVry.
Then she got a boyfriend. Not just any boyfriend -- a Christian boyfriend who wasn't comfortable with any of the witchy/bi stuff.
Now, according to the other chicks from my sister's side of the old gang, she's claiming that she's always been Christian, always been straight.
I have no objection if someone, after considering it, decides that the conclusions they came to earlier in life were mistaken, and that they should be doing different things with their life. I do object when someone who was dear to me, who poured their heart out to me, begins to rewrite their past, and holds a position that means that all my memories are lies.
I still miss her. I hope she knows that I still want to be friends. I hope she knows that if it's her Will to remake herself, that I'll accept that. My best friend is Christian. Christianity is not the problem. What I won't accept is her lying to herself.
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Perhaps she was always straight and just mistaken, but more often than not, at least that I've seen... that's not the case, and they may end up miserable the rest of their life... or wake up several years later wondering how the hell they convinced themselves they wanted to marry a man.
There are so many of them... I think everyone I know knows at least one. Now if you'll excuse me, I think I may still be in love with the one I mentioned, so I'm gonna get myself a good stiff drink.
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First, she's totally not local.
Second, she hasn't been answering her e-mails.
Third, I want to keep the friendship, if it isn't totally blown already.
If she lived closer... if we got to see each other regularly...
*sigh*
Do you happen to remember the chick in the Shamrocks who my little sis was dating? That's her.