Un-secret snark

[azurelunatic]

God.

Maybe, someday, I will make a board/community that is for parents who can write only.

Have been in parenting community off LJ. Have just had brain go numb from all the "I can't spell and I don't give a shit" that has been displayed. Can't spell, can't write, probably can't think.

Am snarky. No longer give a fuck.

dh for dear hubby, dd for dear daughter, ds for dear son; FS for FUCKING STUPID.

-- my dh doesnt get along with my ds they fight all the time i dont kno what too do please give me some advise im desprit--

"Desprit", honey, I'm so sorry that DopeHead doesn't get along with DogShit. Were you looking for some advice, by chance? Advice is what people who aren't clueless morons seek from people. And then the other people advise those who aren't clueless morons. My advice: capital letters, apostrophes, and periods. archy you aren't, hon.


Why is it that boards devoted to the more "domestic" endeavors seem to be clogged with people who write like that? Perhaps because they were more focused on getting a husband than getting an "edjacashun"? Speaking of shun...

Comments

[boojum.livejournal.com]

I don't actually know the general type, just the fibercrafting subtype. She has four or five kids and prefers to not make reproductive decisions, or possibly is unaware that she can.[1] She usually started having kids in her late teens or early twenties. She often signs email messages with "mommy to Tylyr, 4 and Mykknzee, 2, and Brandee, 2 months and four days tomorrow!". Some versions of her have no punctuation but the extended ellipsis. She lives in some midwestern state and has never in her life met anyone who is not white, Protestant, and at least pretending to be heterosexual. Sometimes she's a grandmother (substitute "grammy" for "mommy" in previous quote). She prefers memorization to understanding and will not connect her assertion that Kool-Aid is just as good as "nasty chemical dyes" with her immediate questions as to why nobody can get proper blues with Kool-Aid.[2] She doesn't want people to give her complicated answers, but just to tell her what to do, even in situations where nobody else can.[3] She thinks three-step procedures are complicated. She thinks commiserating about husbands is always appropriate. She thinks bogus virus warnings are always on topic and throws fits when people point out that they're bogus (and then forwards the next one anyway). She thinks inane forwards are always on topic. She has the most passive-aggressive flamewars I've ever seen.

[1] It is possible to make the reproductive decision to have four or five children; these women just don't.

[2] Kool-Aid is often used to demonstrate dyeing or do simple dyeing when resources or kid-proof space are in short supply. It's not as consistent or colorfast as real dye and comes in a limited palette. It's fine to use, but denying its limitations is foolish.

[3] There is a concept in knitting called gauge: how many stitches or rows per inch a given knitter gets in a given stitch pattern with given yarn and needles. Different knitters knit at different tightnesses and so get different gauges, everything else being equal. It's possible to get a rough sense of someone's gauge by checking someone else's gauge in the same setting, but nobody else can check your gauge for you, because you have to knit it. Yourself. And then you have to measure it. (I'd put the snarky bit from Pratchett where Susan doesn't think the stable girls can handle complicated devices like rulers, but measurement is actually a little tricky because knitted fabric is stretchy and scrunchable.)

[azurelunatic]

Oh, god.

I forgot the bit where she identifies herself solely as whose mommy/grandma/wife she is. Oh, and what church group she is part of.

She has no identity of her own but her age, gender, familial associations, and group memberships. Her own name is generally an afterthought. She manages to be fucking egotistical for someone who makes a point of eradicating all her own thoughts and/or beliefs.