The Sorting Cat

[azurelunatic]

So, there's a kitten stuck up in a tree. The responses from the various Hogwarts houses?


Gryffindor? Rush over to the tree, climb up to attempt to rescue the kitten.

Hufflepuff? Using teamwork, grab an end of the limb and have many people hang on to bend it low enough so that someone can be lifted up high enough to reach the kitten (and the stuck Gryffindor).

Ravenclaw? Pick some wild catnip and find a ladder and attempt to entice the kitten down. (The Gryffindor is also out of reach of the ladder by now.)

Slytherin? Borrow someone's cellphone and call the fire department to come and effect the rescue. Take all the credit for being the level-headed one while the rest of the people were rushing about in general distraction.

Comments

[nalidoll.livejournal.com]

umm.. so what does it say that i would have been the one standing back, chewing on a bit of the catnip, occasionally throwing out suggestions just to make things amusing and waiting to hit on any cute firemen who showed up?

[azurelunatic]

The Cat Hat had a difficult time choosing between Ravenclaw (brains) and Slytherin (ambition, cunning).

If only there were a House of Practicality.

[nalidoll.livejournal.com]

indeed, for i have -in truth- found that employing a SuperSoaker often inspires the "stuck" cat to find its own way down... and ensure it is not likely to find itself "stuck" at a later date.

but i would still wait around to check out the firemen.

[azurelunatic]

Slytherin.

[azurelunatic]

Because, you see, you have your own agenda and you're willing to take whatever measures necessary to get what you want and need from the situation.

[nalidoll.livejournal.com]

heh! i find that highly amusing.. and fun!

just-don't-tell-anyone-that-all-those-sorting-quizzes-and-stuff-that-have-more-than-three-questions-tell-me-i-am-Gryffindor. cuz that gets old.

[azurelunatic]

Are those the ones that always have Slytherin as the nasties?

'Cause I bet there are some pretty eeeevilll Ravenclaws out there, and if you want to hear an earful, get Az-the-Elder started on Dumbledore...

[nalidoll.livejournal.com]

eh, the ones that Obviously have Slytherin as the nasties, i just avoid.. because the questions are blatantly leading and that's no fun.

i think it is usually because the Slytherin answers are very.. *selfish*, in a cut-and-dried way. and i happen to be one of those people who, when plotting and planning, often see the personal benefit in doing something that also benefits someone else.

that, and i have No Fear. this leads to much quiz-breaky.

[azurelunatic]

*nods*

There should be two answers for "I am nice to the geek".

One: "I am nice to the poor picked-on geek. They look lonely, and it's sad when someone doesn't have friends." Will push the sorted towards everything but Slytherin.

Two: "I am nice to the poor picked-on geek. They may be a useful ally -- or a dangerous enemy." Sorts Slytherin.

Hmm. I see it like this...

[zanna-voodoo.livejournal.com]

Gryffindor? Use a dangerous treant potion on yourself in order to grow tree-sized and -shaped, entice the kitty to your own branches, then revert to human (you hope) with kitty in arms. (Except how do you drink the antidote when your hands are twigs and you have no mouth?)

Hufflepuff? Taking turns, each person casts a jelly charm on the branch the kitty is sitting on, so that the kitty falls/slides gently to the ground one wiggly branch at a time.

Ravenclaw? Use a rare bonsai charm to shrink the tree to knee height and then pluck the kitty out of it.

Slytherin? Is it a purebred cat? If no, ignore it. If there seems to be some reason to rescue the cat, blast the tree to smithereens and catch the cat when the tree blows apart.

Re: Hmm. I see it like this...

[zanna-voodoo.livejournal.com]

Hmm, these options all require magical knowledge already, which means they wouldn't work for sorting.

Duh.

Still funny anyway. Let's say this is how the houses would do their OWL exams. ;)

Re: Hmm. I see it like this...

[azurelunatic]

Hee. I like the Ravenclaw one.

[elysianmusings.livejournal.com]

What if I were to just stand in the back, with a group of other girls making fun of the now stuck Gryffindor and occasionally taunting him/her with lewd comments?

[azurelunatic]

New House: House Smartass.

[sithjawa.livejournal.com]

Isn't the fire department a Muggle society? (ewwww, cooties)

I think I'd probably sit there holding a conversation with the cat (centering around "Quit fooling around, you prima donna") until someone called the fire department.

[azurelunatic]

Congratulations! You are Luna Lovegood!

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

I want to know why everybody's fussing over a cat in a tree. Honestly? They always figure out how to get back down eventually, without our help. I think it's rampant anthropomorphism to get worried about a cat in a tree. :) Does that make me Slytherin or Ravenclaw?

[azurelunatic]

...I'd sort you as the pragmatic part of House Smartass, which evidently (judging from the comments here) half of the friends list is sorting as.

[kdorian.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. I'd wait 2 days (1 day for a kitten) before I did anything. The problem will probably have taken care of itself by that point.

[onyxrising.livejournal.com]

Does this mean I'm a Slytherin?
Oh, wait, i'm a management student... isn't that just about the same thing?

[azurelunatic]

You're in good company. I know lots of Slytherins, and my girlfriend keeps snakies.

[leora.livejournal.com]

Accio cat.

Pretty simple.

[gameboyguy13.livejournal.com]

Hey, if it worked for Accio Hagrid, of all things...

[azurelunatic]

This should under no circumstances be used by scary fangirls as a method for making Hagrid come.

[azurelunatic]

*giggle* Also in House Smartass! :D