Fwd: A Comparison of Late 20th Century Religious Theory

[azurelunatic]

A Comparison Of Late 20th Century Religious Theory
Capitalism
He who dies with the most toys wins.

Hare Krishna
He who plays with the most toys wins.

Catholicism
He who denies himself the most toys wins.

Anglican
They were our toys first.

Greek Orthodox
No, they were OURS first.

Polytheism
There are many toy makers.

Evolutionism
The toys made themselves.

Baptist
Once played, always played.

Church of Christ Scientist
We are the toys.

Communism
Everyone gets the same number of toys and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.

Baha’i
All toys are just fine with us.

Amish
Toys with batteries are surely a sin.

Taoism
The doll is as important as the dump truck.

Hedonism
To heck with the rulebook. Let’s play!

Hinduism
He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals loses.

7th Day Adventist
He who plays with his toys on Saturday loses.

Church of Christ
He whose toys make music loses.

Calvinist
Once played, always played.

Jehovah’s Witnesses
He who sells the most toys door-to-door wins.

Pentecostalism
He whose toys can talk wins.

Existentialism
Toys are a figment of your imagination.

Confucianism
Once a toy is dipped in the water it is no longer dry.

Non-denominationalism
We don’t care where the toys came from, let’s just play with them.

Atheism
There is no toy maker.

Agnosticism
It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.

Branch Davidians
He who dies playing with the biggest toys wins.

Mormonism
Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.

Voodoo
Let me borrow that doll for a second.

Apathy
Toys? Why do I need toys?

Judaism
I’m selling toys. You buying?

Church of Scientology
Toys ‘R’ Us.

Quakers
Play with your toys quietly, unless the toymaker moves you to speak.

(I added that last one.)

Comments

Re: Toys

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

I find that last one very touching.

How about:
Pantheist
Everything is a Toy!

Re: Toys

[azurelunatic]

And Discordian --
Why so deadly serious about the rules? It's only a game...

[ornjkitty.livejournal.com]

I like that one about playing with the toys without knowing where they come from. I might get totally flamed for this, but how about:

Wicca All the best toys come from Mommy.

[azurelunatic]

Mommy and Daddy, unless you're talking the variant that ignores the Horned God.

[ornjkitty.livejournal.com]

I stand corrected. Make that Dianic witchcraft, if you will. That's what I get for being a radical feminist in my younger and stranger days.

[azurelunatic]

And this is why, as I told the Professora at my writing group, why there are pagan mens' support groups...

[ornjkitty.livejournal.com]

**nod** **sigh** My bad. My early experiences tended to emphasize the feminine -- almost if not quite to the exclusion of the masculine. But even though I was once a newt ... I got better. "The God is alive and well, and magick is afoot."

[othercat.livejournal.com]

I love things like that. :> *giggles*

[kellinator.livejournal.com]

*giggle*

Re: Copying (with credit)

[wolfieboy.livejournal.com]

Would you mind if I copied this over to my journal and update it as peple suggest more? I'll definitely credit you for it...

Re: Copying (with credit)

[azurelunatic]

Most of it is not mine. Most of it has been bouncing around, forwarded, so many times it's possibly older than I am, some parts.

Feel free to copy away, including any nifty new little bits you want to.

[lysana.livejournal.com]

Eclecticism - Who cares if the body's from a Barbie doll and the head's a tire off a dump truck? It's fun!

Reconstructionism - It's an old toy, but I made it look just like new!

[azurelunatic]

Bwahaha!

Fundamentalism -- Abide by the rule book, and only by the rule book.

Extremist fundamentalism -- Abide by the rule book, and specifically THESE SECTIONS RIGHT HERE of the rule book, see, and everyone else who doesn't play the game by the rules is doing it SO VERY WRONG.

[inferno0069.livejournal.com]

Have you ever played "The 7th Guest"?

[azurelunatic]

Can't say as I even know what that is.

[inferno0069.livejournal.com]

An old computer game (from about when CD-ROM drives first came out) with an evil toymaker. All this about toys and toymakers made me think of it. It probably helps that I've been playing through it again in recent weeks.