azurelunatic: <user name="azurelunatic"> and her best friend giving bunny ears to each other.  (silly)
Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 ([personal profile] azurelunatic) wrote2004-06-09 10:41 pm

Fwd: A Comparison of Late 20th Century Religious Theory

A Comparison Of Late 20th Century Religious Theory
Capitalism
He who dies with the most toys wins.

Hare Krishna
He who plays with the most toys wins.

Catholicism
He who denies himself the most toys wins.

Anglican
They were our toys first.

Greek Orthodox
No, they were OURS first.

Polytheism
There are many toy makers.

Evolutionism
The toys made themselves.

Baptist
Once played, always played.

Church of Christ Scientist
We are the toys.

Communism
Everyone gets the same number of toys and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.

Baha’i
All toys are just fine with us.

Amish
Toys with batteries are surely a sin.

Taoism
The doll is as important as the dump truck.

Hedonism
To heck with the rulebook. Let’s play!

Hinduism
He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals loses.

7th Day Adventist
He who plays with his toys on Saturday loses.

Church of Christ
He whose toys make music loses.

Calvinist
Once played, always played.

Jehovah’s Witnesses
He who sells the most toys door-to-door wins.

Pentecostalism
He whose toys can talk wins.

Existentialism
Toys are a figment of your imagination.

Confucianism
Once a toy is dipped in the water it is no longer dry.

Non-denominationalism
We don’t care where the toys came from, let’s just play with them.

Atheism
There is no toy maker.

Agnosticism
It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.

Branch Davidians
He who dies playing with the biggest toys wins.

Mormonism
Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.

Voodoo
Let me borrow that doll for a second.

Apathy
Toys? Why do I need toys?

Judaism
I’m selling toys. You buying?

Church of Scientology
Toys ‘R’ Us.

Quakers
Play with your toys quietly, unless the toymaker moves you to speak.


(I added that last one.)

Re: Toys

[identity profile] wolfieboy.livejournal.com 2004-06-10 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
I find that last one very touching.

How about:
Pantheist
Everything is a Toy!

[identity profile] ornjkitty.livejournal.com 2004-06-10 04:13 am (UTC)(link)
I like that one about playing with the toys without knowing where they come from. I might get totally flamed for this, but how about:

Wicca All the best toys come from Mommy.

[identity profile] ornjkitty.livejournal.com 2004-06-10 03:37 pm (UTC)(link)
I stand corrected. Make that Dianic witchcraft, if you will. That's what I get for being a radical feminist in my younger and stranger days.

[identity profile] ornjkitty.livejournal.com 2004-06-11 05:57 am (UTC)(link)
**nod** **sigh** My bad. My early experiences tended to emphasize the feminine -- almost if not quite to the exclusion of the masculine. But even though I was once a newt ... I got better. "The God is alive and well, and magick is afoot."

[identity profile] othercat.livejournal.com 2004-06-10 07:02 am (UTC)(link)
I love things like that. :> *giggles*

[identity profile] kellinator.livejournal.com 2004-06-10 10:28 am (UTC)(link)
*giggle*

Re: Copying (with credit)

[identity profile] wolfieboy.livejournal.com 2004-06-11 01:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Would you mind if I copied this over to my journal and update it as peple suggest more? I'll definitely credit you for it...

[identity profile] lysana.livejournal.com 2004-06-11 04:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Eclecticism - Who cares if the body's from a Barbie doll and the head's a tire off a dump truck? It's fun!

Reconstructionism - It's an old toy, but I made it look just like new!

[identity profile] inferno0069.livejournal.com 2004-06-11 07:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Have you ever played "The 7th Guest"?

[identity profile] inferno0069.livejournal.com 2004-06-11 10:03 pm (UTC)(link)
An old computer game (from about when CD-ROM drives first came out) with an evil toymaker. All this about toys and toymakers made me think of it. It probably helps that I've been playing through it again in recent weeks.