Lunacy

[azurelunatic]

How much "lunatic" is really me, and how much is public persona? How much do I put on talking online, and how much do I really reveal of myself here?

I'm going mad again.

What if I don't want to be thought of as completely bonkers insane? What if I want to be just another ordinary person, nothing remarkable about me, somewhat dull, somewhat frumpy, perhaps a touch eccentric, but nothing markedly different?

How much of my perceived insanity is really inherent in me being me, and how much is my name and my persona? How insane am I really, behind the mask? If I didn't pretend to be absolutely loony, would I suddenly become ravingly and horribly deranged? If I tried to be normal, what would jump out of my mind's dark shadows and start eating things?

Comments

[thette.livejournal.com]

I think you're embracing a pretty normal lunacy.

[azurelunatic]

I think I'm still worried about what's going to happen if I ever have children. Would I be the cool mom? Would I be the weird and scary mom who they get teased about? Would I be the in-law that they all want to not invite to family gatherings?

[amberfox.livejournal.com]

I think that would depend on the family you married into. I have an uncle who's not only certified crazy (bipolar schizophrenic) but has threated on multiple occassions to kill us all. We still invite him to major family events. We just roll our eyes at him when he's not looking. (It's a shame, really. He's utterly brilliant on his better days. He just has so few of them.)

[azurelunatic]

Dear me. OK, I'm not quite that insane. I'm just potentially embarrassing.

[thette.livejournal.com]

I suspect very few teenagers think their own parents are cool, no matter how cool the parent to an outside observer.

I have chosen to wait having children until I can get my temper under control (well, more control) just so they won't have to tiptoe around me. If you think your lunacy would affect their behaviour, it might be a good idea to tone it down a bit, but I'd say you're fine.

[azurelunatic]

The things that are most likely to affect a child I can't change. I've already got my temper under control, or as much control as it's going to be, more control than my father. I have worked a great deal, and can't change the fact that sometimes, my skin is too thin to let anyone but one of my bondmates talk to me or touch me.

The Little Fayoumis might as well be mine. I can never feel like a mother to him, but I can feel like a father, and I still can't have him within touching distance of me when I feel like that.

[pygmymetal.livejournal.com]

Take it from a mom, just be yourself and your kids will love you for who you are. As long as you don't go out of your way to embarress them, you will be fine.

Besides, normal is boring. ;)

[azurelunatic]

Thanks. :)