Copy of a comment in a friend's journal

[azurelunatic]

Some mistakes can be fixed. Some mistakes weren't mistakes in the first place.

I believe that opportunities for true love don't happen only once. It's not just a one-shot deal. If pyrogenic had been single when he and I had met, we might have wound up together forever. If my first fiancee and I had lived in the same state, we would probably have worked out. If Shawn hadn't gotten scared and run as hard as he could, we would have worked out. As much as I hate what Shawn did to me, and I can't say I'm glad he did it, I'm glad that if it had to happen to me, that it was he who did it to me rather than someone else, who would have been more cruel in teaching me the same lessons. I would not have any of that which happened to me left undone. I paraphrase Miles Vorkosigan again when I say, I would not have undone any of that, for fear of becoming smaller. Smaller-hearted, smaller-souled.

The trick, though, when you screw up, is not to toss it away because you screwed it up once and now it's all broken. Doing that, that screws up worse, without hope of redemption. If you realize where you've screwed up, take a look at what's gone wrong. It hurts, yes, but the only right thing to do is to see what went wrong and where you have a chance of putting things at least a little more right.