Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2005-03-07 12:12 am
azurelunatic) wrote2005-03-07 12:12 am
Bad Internet! Also, courtship strategies.
Can't ping out of Mordor. Network must be down.
I took a nice solid nap for two hours, and now I'm wide awake again. I should probably do laundry.
Figment and I had a long chat about things, including buttons to avoid pushing, and plots for the courtship of Darkside. The current active plot involves pointing certain things out to Darkside in such a way that it will help him realize any latent feelings he may have for me if he has them, won't send him running screaming if he doesn't have them, and especially won't send any latent feelings running and screaming.
That last bit, of course, is crucial. I do not intend to spoil any of my hard-won chances to court Darkside by doing anything so very crass and blatant like making an overt ploy to seduce him and/or convince him that he's my One True Love. Instead, I want to get him started honestly thinking about his feelings and his reasoning for having the feelings he does (or doesn't).
To that end, Figment got me started on making a requirements list for any long-term mate, classified by whether it's a need or a want, and also classified by whether it's a physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual trait. I've been finding that the places that Darkside does not meet my requirements are largely low-priority. (Well, duh.)
With my knowledge of Darkside, I determined that it would be probably best for me to simply start sharing some of the things I've learned about what I really want with Darkside. These are not necessarily going to be things that he excels at, but I will let him know the priority rating on all of them.
The two highest-priority items, of course, are that I need a lifemate to also be a bondmate, and that a lifemate would need to love me in return. He's got the bondmate part down. And he's the one who will ultimately discover if he loves me and is willing to admit it or not.
I took a nice solid nap for two hours, and now I'm wide awake again. I should probably do laundry.
Figment and I had a long chat about things, including buttons to avoid pushing, and plots for the courtship of Darkside. The current active plot involves pointing certain things out to Darkside in such a way that it will help him realize any latent feelings he may have for me if he has them, won't send him running screaming if he doesn't have them, and especially won't send any latent feelings running and screaming.
That last bit, of course, is crucial. I do not intend to spoil any of my hard-won chances to court Darkside by doing anything so very crass and blatant like making an overt ploy to seduce him and/or convince him that he's my One True Love. Instead, I want to get him started honestly thinking about his feelings and his reasoning for having the feelings he does (or doesn't).
To that end, Figment got me started on making a requirements list for any long-term mate, classified by whether it's a need or a want, and also classified by whether it's a physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual trait. I've been finding that the places that Darkside does not meet my requirements are largely low-priority. (Well, duh.)
With my knowledge of Darkside, I determined that it would be probably best for me to simply start sharing some of the things I've learned about what I really want with Darkside. These are not necessarily going to be things that he excels at, but I will let him know the priority rating on all of them.
The two highest-priority items, of course, are that I need a lifemate to also be a bondmate, and that a lifemate would need to love me in return. He's got the bondmate part down. And he's the one who will ultimately discover if he loves me and is willing to admit it or not.
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Please tell me how this works? Not because I'm being ... traditional. But because I don't honestly understand how it can work without hurt feelings.
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Figment and I ... we know that this is just a short-term thing. It's not for life. We know we're evil twins for life. We know we're close friends for life. I would say that we're best friends, but that would be shoving Darkside out of his rightful place, and Darkside and I are closer than Figment and I are. If I weren't closer to Darkside, though, Figment and I would be best friends. And close friends like that overrides any romantic attachment.
And we both know that if we try to make this into anything more than it is, it'll end in grief for both of us. You and I both knew that it would never go anywhere when we got involved with Yakky, did we not? There was no way it could work, but it was fun while it lasted. (Until it blew up.) This is very much the same way as that.
If Yakky had discovered the One True Love of his life while he was seeing you, you would probably have supported him wholeheartedly in running after her and trying to catch her. Comparing Figment and me to you and the Captain really isn't a valid comparison.
Figment says: "It's very simple. We've been enjoying each other's company, and I came to the realization that you were in love thoroughly and totally with Maniac, and ... when a person loves another person, they will give up what little happiness they get from that person, so they can get all the love they deserve."
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