Common Non-Geek Mistake: "CPU"

[azurelunatic]

You know that boxy thing that is the brain of your computer? The thing you plug your keyboard and TV and mouse into?
You mean the CPU?

That exchange will heat my temper from nice and cool to near a full boil in under three seconds. "The CPU" is not, and never will be, the proper name of the box part of the computer, when the main parts of the computer are the monitor, the keyboard and mouse, and the boxy part that all of the above plugs into. CPU stands for "central processing unit", which is, on most household desktop or laptop computers, your Pentium chip, your Celeron, your Athlon -- not the whole honking box, but the smartest and hottest chip inside the box.

The standard household desktop computer has a fuckton of a lot more stuff inside the box than just the CPU. The CPU is usually in the middle of a contraption called the "motherboard", which has all sorts of slots and widgets to plug stuff into so that the computer's main brain can access all the niftiness. There are also hard drives, floppy drives, CD/DVD drives, sound cards, video cards, modems, ethernet cards, hard drives, power supplies, fans, and more than enough cable to satisfy a bored cat for at least a week.

Unfortunately, the Modern Inaccurate Use of Technical Terms Commission has seized onto the term "CPU" and has redefined it to (erroneously) refer to the whole goddamn box. End-users referring to the whole goddamn box as "the CPU" will either be laughed out of town when they call it this in front of someone who knows their computer's ports from a hole in the sand, or billed accordingly.

There is no one commonly accepted Geek Term to call the whole goddamn box. "Box" works. "Tower" works. "This piece what I'm kicking vigorously" will do in a pinch, provided you're kicking the right bit at the right time. There are probably a few more, but "box" and "tower" are the most common. "Case" will do, though that generally refers to the outside part and not the inside part. ("Computer" even works too, as many geeks view monitor, keyboard, and mouse as easily replaced peripherals not important to the proper functioning of the unit itself.) But if you call it "the CPU", or, just as bad, call the whole thing "the hard drive", prepare to be laughed out of town.

Comments

[divabat.livejournal.com]

That's odd. I've taken computing lessons, seen other computing lessons, talked to all sorts of geeks around the world - and NO ONE has mentioned the concept of CPU like you have.

Wouldn't technically that "box" be appropiately called a CPU anyway? All the chips and boards and drives are in there processing something. Inside that box is where most, if not all, of the computer's processing takes place. Hence Central Processing UNIT. that chip doesn't do processing alone.

[smmc.livejournal.com]

Funny. My keyboard and mouse are plugged into a USB hub. Not directly into the box that makes a nice toe warmer under the table. ;) Which as you've seen, I always lovingly refer to as the damn XPbox. Probably because I had a mac long enough that I had to differentiate. *smirk*

Not to mention the house also has two linux boxes and a 2k box. So, uh... yeah.

I think I'll shut up now and go to bed.

[sithjawa.livejournal.com]

Can I call it a "cpu holder", like the CD-ROM drive?

(Sorry, it's late and I am very tired, and swapped letters seem like advanced humor)

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

You know that boxy thing that is the brain of your computer? The thing you plug your keyboard and TV and mouse into?
You mean the CPU?

That exchange will heat my temper from nice and cool to near a full boil in under three seconds.

In all fairness to the person answering the question? You *did* start out by referring to it as, "the brain of your computer." If one asked me what the brain of the computer is, I would say the CPU. If you directed those two questions to me, I would ask, "Do you mean the tower OR the CPU?" Because they would honestly confuse me. I don't plug my keyboard and mouse into the brain of my computer.

*shrug* Just an objective opinion.

In general, however, I fully sympathize with the rant about idiots and computers. Know what I had to do first thing yesterday morning? My co-worker tried to turn her computer on, and went, "Oh, no, Ro! My computer won't turn on!"

Her first question after that was to ask if I had any problems with my computer that morning. (Reasonable question, if her problem had been *logging in*.) I told her no. She hadn't yet called me over for *help*, so I kept on doing what I was doing, assuming she was still trying things. After five minutes or so, I realized somehow from her muttering (I forget what she was saying) that her computer was apparently not doing *anything*.

I walk over, and ask her what the problem is. She punches the power button on the tower, and says, "It just won't *turn on*!"

I grin.

"Okay, the first question is, then, 'Is it plugged in?'"

She points to the power strip and says, "The red light is on."

I mentally roll my eyes, but she honestly is a very sweet older lady and isn't stupid, in general, just ignorant about computers and doesn't think outside the box much, so I don't actually roll my eyes. "That means the power strip is plugged in, but is the computer plugged into *it*?" I see the light go on in her eyes, as I get down on my knees, pull the computer out a bit, and feel behind it for the power cord. And feel. And then pull the computer out a bit farther and realize...the power cord isn't just loose, it ain't THERE.

"Huh. Where's the power cord?" I look around and find it on the floor, and plug it in, and the computer starts booting up.

Co-worker squeals. "Where'd you find that?!"

This time I *do* roll my eyes. "On. The. Floor. It just got pulled out. It happens."

We discuss that the cleaning people might have knocked it out when they put the trash can back in under her desk. No biggee.

But yeah. Computer idiots. *sigh* I don't know *how* many times I have had to show this particular person how to find a document that's "disappeared". She thought when you click on Start, and Documents, that that was her My Documents folder, and wondered where some of her docs had disappeared to. *sigh*

[dfn-doe.livejournal.com]

!!!!! *Applause* !!!!!!

[techempage.livejournal.com]

AMEN!

[grifyn.livejournal.com]

::nods::

I've always referred to it as the tower.

I hear about 25 acronyms a day, though. it's mystifying, but I won't use one of them unless I know exactly what the letters stand for. I know that, if it were me in that situation, I'd use fake ones to see if they gained in popularity.

[elysianmusings.livejournal.com]

I've always referred to it as 'my monster.' Being that my tower case has more bays than it doesn't, has little blue lights that look like glowing eyes at night, and the fans are loud enough that it sounds like it's growling. I really need to replace those fans.

[negativeview.livejournal.com]

Yup, you're a geek. You have your TV plugged into your ... tower. I was very tempted to call it the CPU. I can't bring myself to do it though. Even for a (bad, predictable) joke.

"Box" seems ... I dunno, too primative?

"Tower" is discriminatory. I'm itching to get a desktop case again. Down with minitowers! This from a guy that had a full server case in the not-so-distant past.

I think that this is why us geeks often name our computers. You no longer have to say "my box/boxen." You simply say "Sheila" and any geek can read a few sentences of context and go "ooooh, his FreeBSD box!"

I've done far too much rambling in a stranger's journal now. G'bye.

[moniqueleigh]

*snicker* Yup. Good rant. And one I often make myself.

Name for the thing

[p-o-u-n-c-e-r.livejournal.com]

So, the "CPU" is the brain, not the whole thing. The "case" is also not the whole thing; the case, which holds the brain and other stuff, is more like the skull. The other stuff includes ports for getting information into the CPU -- microphone ports not unlike ears, perhaps video ports not unlike eyes, and mouse and keyboard sockets that let the CPU "feel" what my hands are doing. There's also a thing in the front that opens wide where I can "feed" the thing discs ...

So the case around the CPU along with all the otherstuff ought to be some sort of word,like, maybe, I dunno, the "head", right?