(no subject)

[azurelunatic]

I hate ants with a squirming, itching, benadryl-hazed passion. The bus stop was subtly crawling and I saw it after I sat.

Comments

[kdorian.livejournal.com]

But the feeling is not universal. The post just before yours on my flist: http://www.livejournal.com/users/sclerotic_rings/1078519.html

[azurelunatic]

I have no theoretical problem with them -- it's the actual finding of an ant crawling upon my person (and biting) while on the bus a few stops later that skeeves me extraordinarily.

[kdorian.livejournal.com]

Theoretical ants are never the problem. It's the real ones that drive one mad.

[azurelunatic]

The carpenter rages, the carpenter rants
The carpenter raises a clamour.
It's all on account of the carpenter ants
Who have eaten the carpenter's hammer.

[kdorian.livejournal.com]

We dare not touch the sugar,
And we must not touch the pie,
We're afraid to eat the syrup,
Can you guess the reason why?
The bread must be inspected,
And we overlook 'em then;
It just seems we've got to eat 'em.
Yes the ants are back again.

They are crawlin' in the cellar,
Everywhere on ev'ry shelf;
They are trackin' through the butter,
Every feller fer herself,
In the fruit upon the table,
In the stuff down on the floor;
Yes the busy ants are movin',
Never saw the like before.

We have killed 'em by the thousands
Yet a million more came on,
Couldn't tell fer all our trouble
That a single one was gone.
Scalded, peppered, mashed and burned 'em,
Yet they seem to have the call;
And I guess we're bound to eat 'em,
Bound to eat 'em after all.

[azurelunatic]

I have quasi-fond memories of kneeling on the floor with a hammer, smashing ants. That was the best tactic we had at that point.

[kdorian.livejournal.com]

We've tried bait, spray, everything BUT hammers. At least the stuff that kills the fire ants works - when we can find the nests.

Back from 2001...

[azurelunatic]

Sis had been teaching me about the hazards of Arizona, including killer bees. She advised me that should I ever smell inexplicable ammonia-scent outside, to RUN; if one killer bee goes down, the scent of its blood (much like the scent of the Master-Shark's blood in the water) will draw all its homies, and its homies are packing.

Fast-forward to the ant thing.

We finally find a nest right outside our goddamn front door. By this time we've resorted to chemical warfare with kitchen chemicals, and we pour a good jug of ammonia down the hole, and watch in satisfaction as it bubbles and the ants ... are drowning and chemical-poisoned.

Then I give her the Look.

"Um... what was that you said about bees?"

We freak the fuck out, run inside, run outside again, jump in the car, and have a Very Long Lunch at Denny's.

In retrospect, it occurred to her that perhaps plain ammonia wouldn't have set off any local bees, and it would have been specific scents along with the ammonia, but we were playing it safe.


I wonder if they make blacklight-reactive bait, to mark the trails to the nests, so the nests can be attacked that way?

Re: Back from 2001...

[kdorian.livejournal.com]

Yikes!

No killer bees in my area, but I have vivid memories of the time I discovered we had a fire ant mound at the edge of the garden... by standing on it.

Re: Back from 2001...

[azurelunatic]

omgwtfOW.

Re: Back from 2001...

[kdorian.livejournal.com]

Actually, it was more like:

hm?

Ow!

OWWWW!

OMGWTF DANCE GIRL DANCE FOR YOUR LIFE!

Re: Back from 2001...

[azurelunatic]

Ants, the magic ants. Jump the magic jump!