dw_news: "a flower for you / for eating your tasty pants / current mood: hungry"

[azurelunatic]

news: "It's nearly Valentine's Day. Since this is LJHS, we're selling flowers and candy to be delivered to your friends for a fund-raiser. Except... they're VIRTUAL!"

Popular Users: "Oh, how cute!"
Less Popular Users: "OMG LAME. How's about some real features, like, you know, editing comments or userpics over 40k? Or even tracking down all the goddamn bugs from the last update or five?"
LJ Support: "Don't look at us! brad said it was quick & dirty & corny already!"

Paranoid Users: "You mean anyone can pay $0.99 and put some crappy graphic and text of THEIR CHOICE on my userinfo? I call shenanigans!"
LJ Support: "Here, it's the new FAQ! Don't worry, if some meanie does that, you can zap it. And it just shows up as a clickie-picture directly under your username, so it's not like somebody's going to be blasting GNAA propaganda across your userinfo. Chill."
Paranoid Users: "How's about a pre-emptive opt-out?"
LJ Support: "Have you met my good friend suggestions? (That's a no for right now, but see if brad is feeling benevolent today, and maybe he'll get someone to code it. Even though he should have seen it coming with the "nudge" fiasco.)"
Paranoid Users: "Hmpfh."

Broke Users: "But... it's not free?"
LJ: "Sure isn't."
Geeks: "News flash -- it's called Photoshop, an image host, and comments. Do it yourself. Sure, it won't show up in the userinfo, but it lasts longer! Or, OMG, if you don't have Photoshop, you can just steal the Official LJ Graphics. Isn't there some sort of IQ test before people are allowed to play with the internets? Oy vey."
Broke Cynical Users: "Yet another way LJ has thought up to SCAM US OUT OF OUR MONEY!"
LJ Support: "Exactly which part of 'LJ is a business' have you failed to understand this week? And. Um. $0.99 a silly graphic? If you were going with a commercial greeting card through the mail, you'd be paying more than that for about the same effect."
Cynical Users: "OMG attention whores. All of you."

Permanent Users: "So, this thing about 10 gifts in two weeks = two months paid time? Um... how does this help a permanent user again?"
LJ Support: "Meet my friend /tools/xfer_remaining.bml! I'm sure the two of you are going to be best buddies."
Permanent Users: *eyeroll*