dw_news: "a flower for you / for eating your tasty pants / current mood: hungry"

[azurelunatic]

news: "It's nearly Valentine's Day. Since this is LJHS, we're selling flowers and candy to be delivered to your friends for a fund-raiser. Except... they're VIRTUAL!"

Popular Users: "Oh, how cute!"
Less Popular Users: "OMG LAME. How's about some real features, like, you know, editing comments or userpics over 40k? Or even tracking down all the goddamn bugs from the last update or five?"
LJ Support: "Don't look at us! brad said it was quick & dirty & corny already!"

Paranoid Users: "You mean anyone can pay $0.99 and put some crappy graphic and text of THEIR CHOICE on my userinfo? I call shenanigans!"
LJ Support: "Here, it's the new FAQ! Don't worry, if some meanie does that, you can zap it. And it just shows up as a clickie-picture directly under your username, so it's not like somebody's going to be blasting GNAA propaganda across your userinfo. Chill."
Paranoid Users: "How's about a pre-emptive opt-out?"
LJ Support: "Have you met my good friend suggestions? (That's a no for right now, but see if brad is feeling benevolent today, and maybe he'll get someone to code it. Even though he should have seen it coming with the "nudge" fiasco.)"
Paranoid Users: "Hmpfh."

Broke Users: "But... it's not free?"
LJ: "Sure isn't."
Geeks: "News flash -- it's called Photoshop, an image host, and comments. Do it yourself. Sure, it won't show up in the userinfo, but it lasts longer! Or, OMG, if you don't have Photoshop, you can just steal the Official LJ Graphics. Isn't there some sort of IQ test before people are allowed to play with the internets? Oy vey."
Broke Cynical Users: "Yet another way LJ has thought up to SCAM US OUT OF OUR MONEY!"
LJ Support: "Exactly which part of 'LJ is a business' have you failed to understand this week? And. Um. $0.99 a silly graphic? If you were going with a commercial greeting card through the mail, you'd be paying more than that for about the same effect."
Cynical Users: "OMG attention whores. All of you."

Permanent Users: "So, this thing about 10 gifts in two weeks = two months paid time? Um... how does this help a permanent user again?"
LJ Support: "Meet my friend /tools/xfer_remaining.bml! I'm sure the two of you are going to be best buddies."
Permanent Users: *eyeroll*

Comments

[bekijane.livejournal.com]

*gigglesnort*

Isn't there some sort of IQ test before people are allowed to play with the internets? Oy vey.

No there isn't, other than *how do I switch this thing on?* Unfortunately getting it wrong isn't an auto-Darwin yet.

Yet.

Give us geeks time.

[azurelunatic]

Unless your water cooling has gone dreadfully wrong.

[azurelunatic]

Aha, found the water cooling/idiot/pseudo-Darwin humor bit I was thinking of. It's a put-on, but it's a damn good one.

[brassfire.livejournal.com]

Sweeeet.

[azurelunatic]

I really have to re-read the whole thread now that I've found it again.

[bekijane.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaha! Yes the cat is wearing my egg roll again! LOL

[kellamaste.livejournal.com]

I really love the picture you've got for your user pic. It's a great shot of him.

[bekijane.livejournal.com]

Ah, my beautiful Theban Band image of the Professor. I do love it so :-) It's from an illustration to a fan-fic, and can be found; here which is entirely work safe and all fully clothed, although the second person in the picture may surprise you more than a little...

[nalidoll.livejournal.com]

People would amaze me with their capacity to find *something* to bitch about if I wasn't already numbed by three decades of watching it happen.

Yay to you, though, for making something amusing from it all to help keep my eyes from rolling out of my head at the bitching popping up all around me.

[azurelunatic]

I figure it's my civic duty to read the comments on things like that so the part of LJ who doesn't care to be exposed to all that stuff spread across 9 pages of comments doesn't have to.

[nalidoll.livejournal.com]

Heh. I'm getting so fed up with people bitching about livejournal that it helps to have your dialogues running through my head when I run across even more of it.

If I tried to read those comments, *something* would have to explode before it was all over with.

[waywardpixie.livejournal.com]

I really needed a laugh today, good thing I decided to check my friends page before logging off. Hahaha!

[azurelunatic]

*grin* I realized that I'd utterly neglected to share the viewpoint of the cynical, so I had to go back and edit them in.

[yndy.livejournal.com]

As a Perm user - every time they say "you will get XXX months free!" all I can think is... that's like getting 30 years on top of my life sentence... your point is???

Ah well... shiny object!!

[azurelunatic]

There's really not much you can add to a permanent account. *grin* One of the best $100 I ever spent.

[7rin.livejournal.com]

User oic's - we always all want user pic's... well, 'cept those who don't, of course. ;)

Nice summary btw. :)

[nakeisha.livejournal.com]

How's about some real features, like, you know, editing comments or userpics over 40k? Or even tracking down all the goddamn bugs from the last update or five?"

Well said!

Just the kind of thing I was thinking when I read the latest 'sparky' new feature!!!! Especially, the 'fix known problems'.

[gameboyguy13.livejournal.com]

... hehehe.

After this and the last one, I've just got to add you to my friends list. :D

[azurelunatic]

*grin*

Don't expect all funny all the time. Though I may have to start doing these regularly for the big news posts.

[gameboyguy13.livejournal.com]

No, I'm not expecting that (wow, that'd be a terrible burden.) but you seem interesting. :)

[adudeabides.livejournal.com]

I think you should. This one was funny. Your last one on the DNS changes was hilarious. I'd probably miss them if people didn't occassionally point me in your direction.

[cissa.livejournal.com]

Heh. An excellent run-down!

[azurelunatic]

I'm really surprised there was so much fuss over this. There are still people trying to get the tempest out of the teapot.

[ursamajor]

hahaha PERFECT.

except it looks like they're going to ignore the 2 months thing for perm users ...

[azurelunatic]

Well, if whitaker can make sure nothing breaks, he said it might happen (in comments over there)...