Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-05-01 01:17 am
azurelunatic) wrote2002-05-01 01:17 am
Regression
Just spent quite some time regressing myself through where I was at this time of the year through my past years. As it gets more and more into the past, the time of year gets fuzzier.
In 2001, I had just moved in here, was recovering from nasty illness, and was about to have an ant invasion.
In 2000, I was moving out of my parents' house into the cabin that BJ and George and I would share for the summer.
In 1999, I was moving out of the dorms and back into my parents' house, to complete the last of my near-fatal depression.
In 1998, I was about to give away my virginity and graduate from high school.
I don't remember much about 1997. I learned that Shawn had tried to kill himself on Terrible Tuesday, because the girl had died in that accident.
In 1996, my best friend Shawn was becoming more and more irratic and less sane, I was getting more tightly strung, and my relationship with my fiancée was on the rocks.
In 1995, I was about to learn that I was bisexual; I was madly in love with Eric Johnson; I was seeing Bryan on the side; I was working on my novel. Freshman year. I had distinct multiples. I was eagerly anticipating CTY.
In 1994, I was about done with 8th grade, doing very poorly in my classes, rediscovering my artistic talents, having fun as a library aide.
In 1993, I was discovering science fiction, discovering the concept of multiple personalities, slacking off in school, discovering that I was not part of the "in" crowd.
In 1992, I was one of the queens of my elementary school, dating Ty Keltner, smart, beautiful, a future scientist and budding writer, and kicked ass at Tetherball and Connect Four.
In 1991, the Gulf War had ended, and I was still trying to keep up the diary I'd started, at least every now and then. I had my three friends and we were cool.
In 1990, I was giving neckrubs to Mrs. Banks, and she was reading aloud in class, and it was too hot that year. I had no best friend, and next year would be Jay Baxter's last year at Pearl Creek. I had missed out on fractions. My best friend was Calico, who helped me with my math.
In 1989, I was downstairs in 3rd grade. We painted every week. Connie Finn and the other pretty girl had hairspray. My little sister was a first grader. We had baby chicks!
1988. Cursive is a curse. John Hopkins still ate glue, but Jay Baxter was cuter. He kissed me! He's Ruby's brother. I got glasses, so now I can even see the wheels on the bottoms of airplanes when they fly low.
1987. First Grade. Big tall room. We packed up our markers and crayons into our boxes. When I got home after school I found the class red handled scissors in my box.
1986. Still mad at Mama because I had to take Kindergarten home school because she couldn't give me a ride to kindergarten at the same time she was picking up Julie from Montessori school. I didn't get to play with the toys like the other kids. I didn't get any friends.
1985. They made Montessori not fun with all the rules. We didn't get to play with the stuff anymore, we just had to count it and we couldn't have fun.
...Mrs. Geist turned into Mrs. Khalsa and she didn't wear her pretty long hair down anymore, it was all wrapped up in a white turban.
...Mama drove us to Montessori school in the little blue Honda. Davis Road was all bumpy gravel. We went past the building with the big orange sign.
In 2001, I had just moved in here, was recovering from nasty illness, and was about to have an ant invasion.
In 2000, I was moving out of my parents' house into the cabin that BJ and George and I would share for the summer.
In 1999, I was moving out of the dorms and back into my parents' house, to complete the last of my near-fatal depression.
In 1998, I was about to give away my virginity and graduate from high school.
I don't remember much about 1997. I learned that Shawn had tried to kill himself on Terrible Tuesday, because the girl had died in that accident.
In 1996, my best friend Shawn was becoming more and more irratic and less sane, I was getting more tightly strung, and my relationship with my fiancée was on the rocks.
In 1995, I was about to learn that I was bisexual; I was madly in love with Eric Johnson; I was seeing Bryan on the side; I was working on my novel. Freshman year. I had distinct multiples. I was eagerly anticipating CTY.
In 1994, I was about done with 8th grade, doing very poorly in my classes, rediscovering my artistic talents, having fun as a library aide.
In 1993, I was discovering science fiction, discovering the concept of multiple personalities, slacking off in school, discovering that I was not part of the "in" crowd.
In 1992, I was one of the queens of my elementary school, dating Ty Keltner, smart, beautiful, a future scientist and budding writer, and kicked ass at Tetherball and Connect Four.
In 1991, the Gulf War had ended, and I was still trying to keep up the diary I'd started, at least every now and then. I had my three friends and we were cool.
In 1990, I was giving neckrubs to Mrs. Banks, and she was reading aloud in class, and it was too hot that year. I had no best friend, and next year would be Jay Baxter's last year at Pearl Creek. I had missed out on fractions. My best friend was Calico, who helped me with my math.
In 1989, I was downstairs in 3rd grade. We painted every week. Connie Finn and the other pretty girl had hairspray. My little sister was a first grader. We had baby chicks!
1988. Cursive is a curse. John Hopkins still ate glue, but Jay Baxter was cuter. He kissed me! He's Ruby's brother. I got glasses, so now I can even see the wheels on the bottoms of airplanes when they fly low.
1987. First Grade. Big tall room. We packed up our markers and crayons into our boxes. When I got home after school I found the class red handled scissors in my box.
1986. Still mad at Mama because I had to take Kindergarten home school because she couldn't give me a ride to kindergarten at the same time she was picking up Julie from Montessori school. I didn't get to play with the toys like the other kids. I didn't get any friends.
1985. They made Montessori not fun with all the rules. We didn't get to play with the stuff anymore, we just had to count it and we couldn't have fun.
...Mrs. Geist turned into Mrs. Khalsa and she didn't wear her pretty long hair down anymore, it was all wrapped up in a white turban.
...Mama drove us to Montessori school in the little blue Honda. Davis Road was all bumpy gravel. We went past the building with the big orange sign.