A much-needed venting session...

[azurelunatic]

The problem with Queens is that if they start getting too power-hungry and wanting to run things like a dictatorial Empire, the subjects get cranky and revolt. In contrast, a good Captain always looks out for the crew, and therefore the crew looks out for the Captain.

In not entirely unrelated news, my leadership style is, has been, and likely always will be extremely laid-back. "General organizing principle" is how I've been describing myself, because I don't really lead. I let the group run itself for the most part. If needed, I'm the local Responsible Adult, and I man the beepy-thing, but otherwise the group does its thing. I've never had the energy to teach the group. I knew that coming in, and it was one of the reasons why I resisted taking the position. I guess I always figured that if the group wanted more structure, then the group would make it happen. Now the group's making it happen, and the only thing that confuses me is why it didn't happen sooner, since people clearly do want it this strongly.

The rest of it all is just the sort of midnight things that get said to Darkside or in private IRC, or not at all. I'm feeling this incredible disconnect from it all, as I have since the 2nd.

hcolleen is now in charge of cracking the whip. I'm fine with carrying on as Vague Organizing Principle. myrrhianna has volunteered to keep track of people, contact info, principles, and manifestos.

Some potential new names came up. There will be discussion, more brainstorming, and eventually some voting or somethin'.

M is going through some tough times right now, and the group as gathered tonight has discussed how best to present (in friendship and solidarity) the True Life Lessons that may help M get back on her feet and having positive energy experiences once more. (Points for decrypting that one into the language that was actually used.) Suffice to say that if you don't choose to work full-time, but are physically and mentally capable of doing so, it's hard to gain sympathy if you are upset at your plight of always living in a room with housemates and not having a car. (We can tell the difference between complaining and venting rather fast. We grok the venting, but the complaining we're rather more likely to help you make an action plan than sympathize with.) Likewise, consider having realistic expectations of housemates. In the grand tradition of artists since forever, consider taking that day job at least part-time so you'll have some income rather than none. Et cetera. One would think that by 40, one has gained at least an elementary understanding of how the world works.

Comments

[nalidoll.livejournal.com]

I guess I always figured that if the group wanted more structure, then the group would make it happen. Now the group's making it happen, and the only thing that confuses me is why it didn't happen sooner, since people clearly do want it this strongly.

Most people are sheep. Truly. They may strongly want something, but they lack any organizing principle to actually make it happen. Until it comes down to the wire, most people just don't seem to have that little switch in their brain that flips over to "okay, let's get things done".

I say this as someone who is Alpha with Beta tendencies. Basically, that means I don't *want* to take charge, but my natural inclination is to step in and make things happen in the right way. I spent a long time waiting for people to wake the fuck up and *do* things on their own, only to have to step in and make it work when they didn't. Of course, I was a Theatre Tech major, so on some weird level this made me insanely happy, but in Life In General - it gets frustrating.

The best thing for dealing with this? Cultivate a *stare*. Something people will refer to as The Look in a way that makes the capital letters audible. I've found that giving a Look to people who just aren't doing for themselves can suddenly inspire evolutionary advancement in their mental capacities, out of sheer desire for survival. (That, and it is really fun to watch them squirm.)

[azurelunatic]

I would have been able to apply The Look (I've got one) if I'd realized in some way short of telepathy that it was an ongoing need, rather than something that gets brought up and dropped in an apathetic fashion every six months or so.

I'm really support staff, not a leader. I can organize, I can get people on task, I'm a great power-behind-the-throne, but leading is just not my thing. Even so, having not-a-leader head the collective group-leads-itself is better than letting M turn things into her private harem/police state.

[myrrhianna.livejournal.com]

I think the upheaval and thrashing about it just part of our growing pains. Everything will smooth out over the next few weeks. *hugs*

[azurelunatic]

Point. I've chilled things out through worse before, I think.

I just fear I've lost contact with reality.

[smmc.livejournal.com]

Considering M has been homeless and had to pull herself up once before, one would think that lesson would have been learned. So this news just sort of leaves me going wtf. O.o

I assume for the rest, I need to check gmail? (which I haven't checked for a few days actually)

[azurelunatic]

She's learned the physical lessons of doing what you have to in order to survive when you have no support system.

She does not seem to have grasped what happens when you expect your support system to do exactly what you want them to do.

[azurelunatic]

And actually, I haven't checked my group-mailbox in a while too. I should do that.