Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-05-13 12:44 am
azurelunatic) wrote2002-05-13 12:44 am
Holy Shit: personal realization.
Yep, that's exactly what it's been with my personalities.
I am Submissive. My Dominant side is a bitch if allowed more than 50% out; Dominant overall is not a trait I admire in myself. I do not know how to handle it.
I am Abstract. Every time I go Concrete, I become obsessive-compulsive, and that's just not good for me. I avoid this.
My historical personalities, 1994-2001:
Very interesting.
These days, I've been neglecting my SIAF too much. That's the essential function that Darkside fills in my emotional life. He's been there. He knows how it is. He cares about me, and I about him. I can talk to him with that side of me. He won't hurt me. I can almost trust him not to hurt me.
...
I am Submissive. My Dominant side is a bitch if allowed more than 50% out; Dominant overall is not a trait I admire in myself. I do not know how to handle it.
I am Abstract. Every time I go Concrete, I become obsessive-compulsive, and that's just not good for me. I avoid this.
My historical personalities, 1994-2001:
- Joan-prime was Extroverted, Feeler, sociable and emotional and very agreeable, somewhat prone to dramatics.
- Mona is Introverted, Feeler. All emotion, no voice. Literally. It takes a supreme act of Will to get her to speak. She has been known to speak for Darkside.
- Shanna is Extroverted, Thinker. Plays well with others, but keeps the brains online at all times. Watches out and keeps emotions from getting out of control.
- Azz was Introverted, Thinker. Doesn't give a damn for what other people think; keeps well to herself. Is always working on a new idea. Shanna and Azz merged into the new JL-dominant personality; lately, the sociable side has been coming out more.
Very interesting.
These days, I've been neglecting my SIAF too much. That's the essential function that Darkside fills in my emotional life. He's been there. He knows how it is. He cares about me, and I about him. I can talk to him with that side of me. He won't hurt me. I can almost trust him not to hurt me.
...
no subject
Gah, remind me of old Highlander fanfic why dontcha? Main character went by JL, was a split and didn't know it for a long time as her prime personality stayed in control the vast majority of the time; the others only came out when she was in immediate danger. Of course this meant that the first time she took a quickening, it became essentially another split, since he was a very strong personality, an old immortal, and her first experience with the quickening. After that she was able to subsume them, but he always stayed with her as a secondary personality. ^_^
Want the URL? :)
no subject
I started going by JL in high school, where just plain "Joan" became insufficient to address my complexity. Joan was the part that was vulnerable to Shawn; Laurel (my middle name) was not. It was a little cumbersome to write out; JL, occasionally stretched out to Jayelle, was a decent enough summation of myself.
Re:
http://www.jendaveallen.com/Fanfic/
It's not great literature, but it's tolerably well written (the grammar doesn't suck) and the storyline is good. Plus if you read all the way through to the third story you get a bonus -- JL's secret weapon! Extra points if you can figure out what she's got before she pulls it out of the case... heheheh
Mind you, I'm only talking about the initial trilogy. The other stories on the page really aren't worth reading, unless you happen to like the *other* OFC she's co-writing. Personally I think it screws up the timelines and storylines of both universes to combine them...so I just ignore those stories. :)