ATTACK of the fucking CLONES!!!!!!!

[azurelunatic]

Dawn is dragging me with her on the epic trip to go see the movie tonight. Included will be a large sampling of her local family, including a lot of kids. Some teenagers, some starting to do the belligerent thing.

I shall have to plan diversions. She wasn't sure how OK with that I'd be; I do wonderfully with kids past the age of reason, as long as I'm not supposed to fill in totally for their parents. With a certain person who I was a surrogate mother-figure for, the situation totally bombed out. A little (a day or three) is fine. Two weeks+ is not. One movie should be great fun.

One of the guys in my class group has seen the movie already, and is probably going to be burning copies for the people who beg him on their knees.

1 am, baby. AZ Mills mall.

Darkside's going to absolutely strangle me in the morning. He's going to want spoilers, and I'm going to want sleep. He's already read the Pat Wrede version (so have I; we traded AotC for DI; Wrede for Bujold, and then returned the books the next day) but he still wants to know what's up.

I'm going to be hyper all afternoon. Wow. Hyper. Wow. Star Wars.

I'm thinking I may go in light costume; either classic Queen Amidala makeup or some light Jedi or Princess Leia hair. I almost have the hair for it now, without the black yarn to fill out the puffs. ...No, not quite.

I'm going undercover in any case; this is the branch of Dawn's family that freaks out about all things witchy. Considering that it runs in the family, and the kids really need proper training before something odd starts happening more than it already is, this should be interesting. Rings off; necklace hidden.

Star Wars! Wheeee!!!

Comments

Re: not-so-silly question

[boojum.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I guess the specific example I was thinking of was induced by puberty's hormonal surges. Shortly after puberty I started getting in towering rages. I was able to learn to deal with them in stages. First I worked on not hitting anyone or trying to hit them, not screaming and stomping, etc. The physical outward signs. Then I worked on not focusing on how I hated the person and wanted to kill them and so forth, which meant I broke out of the rage much more quickly. I also worked on not letting anger get that far. I eventually stopped having rages like that, but I don't know how much of that was mental control and how much of that was hormonal stabilization. If I'd had actions directly triggered by my thoughts that I couldn't prevent by getting away from people and disabling my muscles, things would have been really ugly for a while. I couldn't work on the actions and the thoughts at the same time -- the actions would have broken loose. If I hadn't had to work out how to do it myself, the process would have been much smoother and I might have been able to do thoughts and actions at the same time.

I've been working on breaking myself out of emotional ruts, because my emotional ruts tend to be locked in by thoughts and actions. It's not just being down. It's being down and sitting in a corner and thinking about how much I suck and how useless I am and not getting enough sleep or outdoors time (both of which strongly affect my mood) and not doing anything productive. If I control the thoughts and actions, the emotion goes away after a while. I really doubt this would work on a purely emotional rut, though, or any sort of brain biochemical imbalance. It's a YMMV thing.

Frenzy

[azurelunatic]

I finally learned to control my rage. (And, not sure if I mentioned this when it happened, but I finally did confront my dad just as he was about to go off, and he hasn't since...)

Last time I hit absolute rage, I still had just barely the clarity of mind to scoop through my body and squeegie all of my rage into my pressed-together hands. This pulled it out of my mind and body, though my hands tingled like anything and it was an effort to keep them together. Then I directed it, "Go forth and harm none", because I was in no state to clean the energy myself.

At home, Votania popped up off the couch, where she had been lying, very very ill and drained (having been in the hospital the previous day for an allergic reaction to pennicillin) and proceeded to unpack boxes and decorate the house. Upon my return home, she asked me what, exactly, had gotten me that mad...