azurelunatic | Friends

The entire idea of a close beloved friend who does not want to hurt you is alien to me, almost completely outside of my experience. Or at least that's the way it seems sometimes. I've certainly had plenty of friends that haven't wanted to hurt me: Ginger & Galadriel and Gaia: we hung out together in fifth grade; Savil;

votania,

ralmathon; any of a number of delightfully remembered old friends. River. Shinji.

boojum,

pyrogenic, the Lady E, the argh/spink gang.

But Shawn and BJ? They hurt me. They wanted me changed, other than who I am.

I'm still growing used to the novelty of having a beloved friend, someone I love with all my heart, who cares about me as genuinely and lovingly as I do for him.

He doesn't even have to love me. He just cares. I perhaps should stop doubting that I'm worthy of being cared for. I bleed when he's cut. Should it surprise me so much when he bleeds for me, and allows me to hold his hand?

The only changes he wishes in me are changes that it must be my will to make unto myself, changes to make me stronger, healthier, happier, more myself. He's walked some of the same paths. He's cried some of my same tears. Now he reaches out a hand to catch mine.

Catch me if I fall.