Unsent letters to my mother: the hair

[azurelunatic]

Dear Mama,

It turns out that the blue hair thing wasn't just a phase, unless you consider starting to want blue hair in 1995, trying it in 1998 and 1999 and at various points thereafter, and still wanting permanent blue hair in 2008, to be "a phase". The only reason my hair isn't blue right now is that my job's dress code isn't so thrilled with blatantly unnatural colors. That and the fact that bright blue hair and long long hair really don't go together very well, and I do like my nearly waist-length hair very much. But indigo is still an option, given that my natural hair color is so dark.

Love,
Joanie

Comments

[gameboyguy13.livejournal.com]

I hate that expression, "just a phase".

[azurelunatic]

You were probably on the receiving end of it an awful lot more than I was, because my parents were pretty good about that. I don't think Mama hauled it out at the Famed Bisexuality Conference, although she said words almost to that effect. But the hair thing? That was definitely "just a phase". :-P

[gameboyguy13.livejournal.com]

Actually my parents were more "are you sure you're not just looking for acceptance wherever you can find it / because you can't seem to date girls". They didn't even mention the hair at all other than "wow, that's really bright in sunlight" (because it is), which was a relief.

It's still a horrible thing to say to someone. Trivializes their decisions and all.

[azurelunatic]

... You can't seem to date girls ... because you're not interested in dating them? Maybe? Just a guess? Going out on a limb?

My parents were, on the whole, very respectful of our decisions and our ability to make them and our self-knowledge. They reserved the right to say "Oh no you're not" in a whole bunch of cases, and they would attempt to debate us out of positions we'd taken, but they were respectful of the fact that we'd come to that decision.

[gameboyguy13.livejournal.com]

I think they were more referring to the several failures I had in high school. No reciprocation. I was pretty socially awkward, and at least one of the girls I liked has since told me that she pretty much knew there was "something".

So far there has been less of the outright convincing, more of the hidden manipulation and emotional control games.

[azurelunatic]

Elephants aside, I like my parents' parenting style more than I like yours.