Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2008-07-20 09:30 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2008-07-20 09:30 pm
Grandma
Grandma, Dad's mother, has died. She was well over 80, and has been declining for several years. When last I saw her, she still did have coherent periods, but they were growing shorter and shorter. Someone from home called as I was heading home from Darkside's. I called back and left a message, and called Guide Dog Aunt and Tay-Tay and left messages as well. I hope it was peaceful. One of the last times I saw her, she said that she just wanted to lie down in a chair on the lawn and fall asleep and not wake up. Guide Dog Aunt thought that was morbid and said that Grandma had been diagnosed with depression. I wasn't so sure about that. It just sounded like she was very old and tired and everything wasn't working anymore, especially her mind. I don't know what-all was wrong besides old and falling apart. I hope it was peaceful.
I am not sure in what proportion to be sad and be relieved. It was a long trip downhill, and I'm glad it's over. I never spent much time with her. But she is my Grandma. Mostly I'm just numb right now, I guess. [Edit: I did not see much of her during my childhood, as she was in California and I was in Alaska. This is going to be a much worse blow for Dad, Mama, and the California branch of the family.]
Grandma is survived by her four children, six grandchildren, and a couple of great-grandchildren as well (the elder set of cousins are both married off).
I am not sure in what proportion to be sad and be relieved. It was a long trip downhill, and I'm glad it's over. I never spent much time with her. But she is my Grandma. Mostly I'm just numb right now, I guess. [Edit: I did not see much of her during my childhood, as she was in California and I was in Alaska. This is going to be a much worse blow for Dad, Mama, and the California branch of the family.]
Grandma is survived by her four children, six grandchildren, and a couple of great-grandchildren as well (the elder set of cousins are both married off).
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And... don't worry about how you "should" feel (or not)... just let it happen however it happens. ^_^
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My condolences to your family and *warm hugs* for you.
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