Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-05-18 10:53 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2002-05-18 10:53 pm
Darkside is a sweetheart.
Friday morning, talking about random things. Something triggers a mood of mine.
This time, Darkside lets me grab his hand while he helps me work through some of it. He doesn't hate me for loving him. This is amazing to me. He thinks it would be a good idea for me to change some things in my mind, but the changes would be in my response to stress, and in my dealing with the feelings I have for him. He does not find it an acceptable response for me to go through my mind and stomp up and down on bits of me that I really need, in an effort to stop loving him.
It still amazes me that someone can care about me so much as to not want me to smash my mind into the right shape rather than have me in love with them when they don't love me, nor really welcome my love.
Put more simply? I can love without being hated.
It's a new feeling.
And -- I can love someone I don't hate.
This time, Darkside lets me grab his hand while he helps me work through some of it. He doesn't hate me for loving him. This is amazing to me. He thinks it would be a good idea for me to change some things in my mind, but the changes would be in my response to stress, and in my dealing with the feelings I have for him. He does not find it an acceptable response for me to go through my mind and stomp up and down on bits of me that I really need, in an effort to stop loving him.
It still amazes me that someone can care about me so much as to not want me to smash my mind into the right shape rather than have me in love with them when they don't love me, nor really welcome my love.
Put more simply? I can love without being hated.
It's a new feeling.
And -- I can love someone I don't hate.
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no subject
It may be a bit of a new thing for him, too...