(an exploit in a wireless vending machine)

[azurelunatic]

Work has, within the past month, swapped out its old vending company for a new one. I work in a call center with a bunch of geeks. Work has attempted to cater to this in their vending choices. All the new machines are state of the art and quite scary in contrast to the old vending machines that have been the same since like practically the 1970s.

We have two break rooms. The outer break room has tables, chairs, some vending machines, a refrigerator, and a counter with sink and microwave. The inner break room has tables, chairs, more vending machines, more refrigerators, a sink, a microwave, the all-important coffee setup, and the water filter/coolers. The outer break room has a clock. The inner break room has a TV instead.

There are four vending machines in the outer break room.

Dew
Product is not displayed; large images are. One pushes a button with the right label. Things fall out the bottom.
4 Mountain Dew
2 Code Red
2 Livewire
4 Diet Mountain Dew

Efficient Caffeine Delivery
Product is displayed. Choice is entered via number/letter pad. A robot canhugger picks the product off the tilted shelf and zoops it over to be dispensed.
A large vending machine filled with juice, refrigerated coffee-based beverages, and seriously scary energy drinks.

Hot Coffee
Large buttons are labeled with the product choice. There are options for strength, sugar, and lightening. There is a slidy-door where the cup goes in or comes down, and the beverage is poured in. One has to sort of force the door open to put the cup in, but it recognizes that you're pushing and motors it open, then motors it closed once the selection is made, then opens again once done.
Less naked GTA and more interesting hot coffee-based selections. This machine allows you to use your own mug. It does not have chicken soup, so the dispensed beverages do not taste slightly of chicken soup.

Caffeine/Lactose
Product is displayed. Choice is entered via number/letter pad. This is either a canhugger or a shove-off-the-shelf.
More energy drinks. Also, milk, in a number of variants, including chocolate and strawberry.


There are twice as many vending machines in the inner break room.

Chips!
Images of the product choice. Probably buttons labeled with the product choice.
A full 6 of the 15 choices are Cheetos.

Pastries
Product is displayed, with the spinny-things. Choice is entered via number/letter pad.
This starts with Twinkies and gets more obscure.

General Snacks
Product is displayed, with the spinny-things. Choice is entered via number/letter pad.
Candy, crackers, trail mix, jerky, and gum. Also, "5 hour energy" super-caffeinated + herbal shot beverage, at about 150% of the price it goes for at the convenience store (ours is $3.50).

Prepared Foods
Product is displayed, with the spinny-things. Choice is entered via number/letter pad.
This machine is perhaps the scariest, as it has foods that look as if they were prepared by real human beings, in real kitchen environments. Unlike the hole-in-the-wall restaurant or deli food that it resembles, the health department certification is not displayed in this vending machine. Chappy suggested that the date stickers may be scraped off and new ones put on, which adds a certain amount of spice to the kielbasa.

Frozen Foods
Things fall down. I haven't looked too closely.
Hot pockets, frozen dinners, and ice cream. Very popular.

Pepsi
Product is not displayed; large images are. One pushes a button with the right label. Things fall out the bottom.
Pepsi (several variants), water, Sierra Mist.

Buffer Zone
Product is not displayed; large images are. One pushes a button with the right label. Things fall out the bottom. Coke and Pepsi should not be placed directly next to each other as the universe may explode.
Tea, root beer, Hawaiian Punch

Coke
Product is not displayed; large images are. One pushes a button with the right label. Things fall out the bottom.
Coke (several variants), Sprite, Dr. Pepper


All of these vending machines are state-of-the-art. Most accept credit cards (or debit that can be processed as credit). Many of them give back change for larger bills (and accept larger bills). They accept dollar coins. Most of them have blinking blue lights, pointing out the cash slot and the card swipe. At least one of them will keep trying until you actually have the snack you paid for.

The legacy rotating refrigerated machine with the trick sliding doors is gone. At least one other person mourned its passing with me.

Comments

[azurelunatic]

This is not typical of the average workplace; this is zomg new and required a switch of vending providers. This may be a possible resource for fic writers from the future. Hi, possible fic writers from the future!

[http://users.livejournal.com/chas_/]

While not quite as snazzy as your new machines, we got new ones recently, too, along with the switch in vending company. Of course, all our prices went up considerably.

[azurelunatic]

Heh. I haven't checked the prices yet, other than the energy drinks and the coffee.

[alsatia.livejournal.com]

A full 6 of the 15 choices are Cheetos.

This reminds me of the vending machines in my old dorm, where over half of all chip-like items were cheddar-flavored. Generally they also didn't have the non-cheddar equivalents of the same items (for example, Sun Chips), which Massively Annoyed Me given that some chemical in the cheddar-flavored crap makes me very, very ill (but only 90% of the time...so of course I was always tempted to eat them on the chance I'd be ok).

[torrilin.livejournal.com]

Gee, that sounds familiar. These days, if we're offered Drinks of Potential Danger, my partner won't have any til I vet it. Aspartame and fake lemonade are bad (for him) so I guess it's a good thing I can identify both by taste.

[azurelunatic]

Ack. >_<

This is lots of entertaining varieties of Cheetos, too.

[wibbble]

We don't have vending machines at all - when the fridge runs out of coke, someone goes to one of the three (!) supermarkets which surround our office building.

Except for most of last week, when none (!!) of them had any coke. I was advised that bringing back Irn Bru without coke would be unwise and might get me lynched.

[azurelunatic]

That sounds unfortunate.

[wibbble]

We have Irn Bru now, so it's good. Irn Bru is wonderful - a kind of radioactive orange that's found nowhere in nature.


Mmmm, Irn Bru.

[azurelunatic]

That sounds a little like Mountain Dew Livewire. So orange. So caffeinated. So good.

[elance.livejournal.com]

I am unused to this wealth of vending machine possibilities now. Currently at my work, we have two types of vending machine, of which there are two sets per floor.

1) Snacks and sodas. Top two rows are crisps (chips), usually Walkers. Next three rows are chocolate or sweeties of varying kinds, occasionally with a Nutrigrain bar mixed in just to give the vaguest impression that there might be something healthy available.

2) Tea and coffee. Press the right sequence of buttons, and the machine gives you a double expresso, complete with cup, or a hot chocolate, or a cup of tea, or some hot water if you want to make your own tea.

Next to this there is a water machine which dispenses cold water. And that is it for vending machines. Of course we have a staff canteen and a small staff store, so it's not like we only have vending machine choices, fortunately.

[azurelunatic]

Never mind that Nutrigrain bars are essentially whole-wheat poptarts without the frosting.

We have a convenience store on the corner, which we are sometimes discouraged from walking to based on crime in the area, and food vendors coming at mealtime for the two shifts on which I am not.

[lacey]

I want your vending machines! I don't use them much, but I love to look at them and think about them.

A++ would read again!

[azurelunatic]

We'd probably only have half what we have if we didn't have so many people staying overnight and so many geeks.

[lacey]

That makes sense.