The Punch-in-the-Face List

[azurelunatic]

I maintain a "punch-in-the-face list", which is a violent name very much at odds with my upbringing as a Friend. Perhaps "maintain" is not quite the right word, as that implies that I keep an actual physical list collated somewhere, and updated regularly, and that I would genuinely follow through if given the opportunity.

The list is actually mostly notional, as while I may consign people and organizations to its membership, I rarely bother to track who or what is on it. If I've a grudge, I'll know whether they're on the list whether I write it down or not. If I haven't formed a grudge, then obviously it wasn't bad enough to merit permanent membership.

I've also never actually instigated a physical fight, aside from the occasional scuffle with my sister before adolescence hit her (when it had hit me but not her, she'd antagonize me and then get upset that I was "threatening her"; in actuality, I was doing everything I could to hold my temper and warn her that if she kept it up, I would snap and she was likely to get hurt; she didn't appreciate that very much; after it hit her, she came to realize the temper we'd both got and stopped it), and the one time that this creep on the schoolbus was illicitly moving between seats and sat down on the seat that my sister and I shared, whereupon I shoved him on the floor and he punched me. (He's one of the former schoolmates who I won't even contemplate adding on Facebook. I think I have him blocked already.)

If given the opportunity, would I punch someone on this list in the face? I like to think that I would not. My temper likes to think that I would. However, if someone's earned membership on this list, I would only regret the violation of my principles and any consequences that befell me -- not any harm I caused to their person. Does this make me a bad person? Entirely possibly.

Comments

[juliet]

I punched someone in the face once. I was 16, and at a Wonder Stuff gig, and he was drunk and saying "go on, give us a kiss". I told him to fuck off, and then I told him that if he didn't fuck off I'd punch him. And then he tried to kiss me and I punched him, much to the approval of everyone in the vicinity. He reeled backwards holding his nose & going "you're vicious!" in horrified tones. "Yes, indeed, now fuck off," I said. (I think at this point the bouncers intervened & told him to get lost.

Whilst I don't approve of physical violence (& these days I might be less inclined to tackle the situation that way, not least because being 32 rather than 16 changes the dynamics a lot), I have never regretted that punch for one single second.

[azurelunatic]

I entirely approve. Boundaries, and well-defined consequences for violating those boundaries, and follow-through!

That does put me in mind of something I keep forgetting when it comes to both violence and the systematic violation of the personal boundaries of women: there was a guy who entertained himself in middle school by asking me out. I did not think for a moment that he actually fancied me: I was certain that he was using his attention as a hook to put me in a humiliating situation if I should actually fall for it.

He was pestering me at my locker. I told him to buzz off. He re-appeared on my other side. I was getting down my math book, so I smacked him over the head with it.

He didn't bother me after that.

[tsjafo.livejournal.com]

Does this make me a bad person?

It makes you human.

[azurelunatic]

Heh. I knew there was a reason I tried to be Vulcan as a teenager.

[tsjafo.livejournal.com]

*grin*

[starbrow.livejournal.com]

Meh, I think if it makes you a bad person, we're all bad people. I'm not sure I'd call it a 'list' but there are definitely people out there I would like to punch in the face, starting with anyone who hurts someone I love.

[pauamma]

Sounds kinda like me and my "better dead" list, although perhaps in a milder form. I won't go out of my way to harm or kill them, and I might even try to help them or rescue them from harm, in some circumstances. But I'm unlikely to mourn their demise, if and when I learn of it, and I reserve the right to celebrate it privately or publicly.