Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-06-02 06:06 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2002-06-02 06:06 pm
Entry tags:
Fwd: humor: You Might Be An Alaskan If
(credits to Jason Ruff)
If the only utensil in your kitchen is a Leatherman......
You might be an Alaskan.
If your last bath was in March, when your pickup fell through the ice, on Chena Small Tracks Rd......
If you consider a three piece suit, a pair of Carhartts, flannel shirt, and waders......
If you spend more on guns, in a year, than your cousin in Alabama......
If your family goes without groceries so that you can get your King Stamp......
If you think militia men aren't dedicated enough, because they still want to be a part of the union.........
If you refer to the Department of Fish and Game, as the Department of Hide and Seek.......
If the hair on your face, is longer than the hair on your head.......
If your 150hp boat motor has a 35hp cover over it........
If your priest is known for wearing flannel and drinking beer......
If you put holes in your floor for speaker wire, with your .44 magnum......
(this really happened in Anchorage)
If you wear shorts and a T-shirt at 35F......
If your mother gave you your first gun......
If you defend the benefits of a four party system......
If you've ever hit an herbivore, and totaled your Suburban......
If you've ever whipped up Teriyaki Moose Flank for dinner, when company arrived unexpectedly......
If you worry about the roads getting slick because the temperature outside has increased fifty degrees......
If it took you no less than six years to get your BS or BA degree, and you were one of the fast students......
If you've ever played through Beethoven's 5th, wearing Sorrels......
If you've ever polished rocks out of your driveway, and then sold them to tourists at Alaskaland......
If your academic advisor dresses more casually than you do......
If you consider .44 magnum to be a low powered pistol round......
If you eat ice cream at -40F......
Outside......
If your city council took a fifteen minute recess from a discussion about air pollution, to start their cars an hour before the meeting was adjourned......
If the only utensil in your kitchen is a Leatherman......
You might be an Alaskan.
If your last bath was in March, when your pickup fell through the ice, on Chena Small Tracks Rd......
If you consider a three piece suit, a pair of Carhartts, flannel shirt, and waders......
If you spend more on guns, in a year, than your cousin in Alabama......
If your family goes without groceries so that you can get your King Stamp......
If you think militia men aren't dedicated enough, because they still want to be a part of the union.........
If you refer to the Department of Fish and Game, as the Department of Hide and Seek.......
If the hair on your face, is longer than the hair on your head.......
If your 150hp boat motor has a 35hp cover over it........
If your priest is known for wearing flannel and drinking beer......
If you put holes in your floor for speaker wire, with your .44 magnum......
(this really happened in Anchorage)
If you wear shorts and a T-shirt at 35F......
If your mother gave you your first gun......
If you defend the benefits of a four party system......
If you've ever hit an herbivore, and totaled your Suburban......
If you've ever whipped up Teriyaki Moose Flank for dinner, when company arrived unexpectedly......
If you worry about the roads getting slick because the temperature outside has increased fifty degrees......
If it took you no less than six years to get your BS or BA degree, and you were one of the fast students......
If you've ever played through Beethoven's 5th, wearing Sorrels......
If you've ever polished rocks out of your driveway, and then sold them to tourists at Alaskaland......
If your academic advisor dresses more casually than you do......
If you consider .44 magnum to be a low powered pistol round......
If you eat ice cream at -40F......
Outside......
If your city council took a fifteen minute recess from a discussion about air pollution, to start their cars an hour before the meeting was adjourned......