Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2010-12-16 10:26 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2010-12-16 10:26 pm
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Mandatory Makeup (another rant)
Yet again, in early November, I stumbled into a forum with US-mainstream-culture women talking about makeup, and whether we need or don't need it. Context involved comparing candid celebrity photos with the same celebrity all done up for an event. Comments included the "wow, they look just like normal people; I feel so much better about myself for looking human" type comments, and the catty comments about some of the pictures with people caught in their least attractive moments -- and then the "if she looks such a fright without makeup, why does she appear in public without it" and further into the "why does any woman who looks a fright appear in public without makeup" -- jesus fucking christ, you want everyone who does not aesthetically please you to go out wearing a bag over their head? Oh, but it's not a bag, it's just -- just expensive makeup that damages your skin when worn too often and not washed off often enough. And then "I would never appear in public without makeup". And "I have a friend who isn't very attractive, but if only they would wear makeup RIGHT, they would be so pretty." DO YOU EVEN HEAR YOURSELVES.
Of course I think that anyone should have the right to do whatever they feel needs being done to make themselves presentable to the world, before venturing forth into it. I would hardly be a good feminist if I didn't think so. And it makes sense for a person ought to attend to basic good grooming, and is certainly deserving of looking attractive. The whole "You owe it to yourself to take a spa day every now and then" concept. Why shouldn't you be attractive, given basic physical safety, and the limits of your own personal... person (whatever those limits happen to be) and the limits of current standards of attractiveness (slightly different than fashion) and current technology, and available budget (keeping in mind survival and comfort).
Psychological comfort is important too, as well as physical, and good grooming and personal attractiveness is an important part of psychological comfort.
But is it even a dichotomy, the idea that a person should be comfortable in their own selves when heading forth into the world, up against the idea that a woman should not have to wear makeup? That's the crux of it -- everyone (man, woman, other gender, those who do not wish their gender known) should be equipped with the freedom and agency to choose their attire, from covered and veiled from top to toe, to jaybird-naked; from dressed to avoid notice to dressed to attract it; from attire showcasing the concept of one as a sexual being, to attire that has no possible sexually attractive feature.
And I look at my own face -- I still have a skin color I'm all right with, I have a skin color and racial appearance that is dominant and accepted as beautiful in both my country and local area, I still have lips of a shape I like, I still have eyebrows of a shape and color I like, I still have eyelashes that appeal to me aesthetically although practically speaking they are too long as they stick together a la Aeon Flux a lot and stab me in the eye regularly and I do not like that (and thus if anyone ever slips me any of that eyelash-lengthening stuff, I am going to be pissed off for a good and solid medical reason, namely, that I really do not want more eyelashes stabbing me in the eye), I still have skin that is clear enough that I can appear as though I have nearly flawless skin if I cover as little as one square inch of it, I still have hair that is a color I accept as beautiful on others although I would prefer a different color on myself, I still like my eye color, I still like my eye shape, I still like my nose shape, I still like my hairstyle.
I can wash my face, put on lipstick, smear cover-up on the right side of my chin and on any spots and blend it in, and look lovely, and as if I'm wearing a full face of natural-looking makeup unless you know exactly what you're looking for. (My father once accused me of wearing eyebrow pencil, with my natural eyebrows and lipstick.) My hairstyle takes perhaps half an hour of maintenance for everyday wear (fifteen minutes unbraiding, brushing, and re-braiding, twice a day), and another ten minutes every few weeks, and an additional ten minutes before something if I am trying for a particular effect.
This sounds like bragging. Perhaps it is. But all these things add up to not just beauty, but privilege. I don't have to worry about so many little things that other women do worry about. This represents fewer demands on my time, and less of a drain on my self-esteem if I do not have the time or other resources to make myself look tip-top before looking at myself in the mirror, meeting close friends, or going out in public. So I can afford to look at that in horror, because maintaining my face in a way I consider attractive does not take that much work.
I also was raised outside of US television culture, and am fat, smart, and bisexual. These add up to not having my self-esteem tied up in beauty culture.
I was raised outside of US television culture. This means that while I was inundated with a number of things that sucked as a child, I did not get exposed to the ceaseless barrage of bad tape about appearance; I had quite enough bad tape about appearance as it was from my father's constant yo-yo dieting. Lack of television barrage, while it did not help me acculturate to my peers, means that I can get over the worst of the appearance fixation a lot easier than many of my peers can.
I am fat, which means that no matter what else I do to my appearance, unless I lose enough weight to make me actively unhealthy, I cannot be a mainstream beauty, I can only be a fetish object, a subject of mockery, or both. (We tried diet and exercise in high school, which led to some really entertaining stuff like collapsing in the middle of fencing class. We know exactly what kind of crazy happens when we actively try to lose weight, so even well-intentioned comments on that front are not welcome. ever.)
I do not seek out literature that shames my appearance for entertainment or self-improvement, although I risk exposure to this as part of daily life on the internet. I do not seek out television that shames my appearance for entertainment or self-improvement, although I risk exposure to this any time I am exposed to television, even when watching my favorite show. (That sentence hurt to type, by the way. In case you were wondering.)
I am smart. I've got tools to deconstruct a lot of the bullshit out there. I was praised for my feats of intelligence as a child, not my beauty. I have a lot more ego attached to my intelligence than to my appearance.
I'm bi*sexual, which puts me outside the A WOMAN NEEDS A MAN fuckmarket, even though I do have relationships with men, and tend to pair-bond with them stronger. This means that I'm not necessarily going to marry a man, if I get married at all. So the game where the ending is marriage and children? I'm not playing that game.
* Technically sapiosexual, but "bisexual" is the label I've been using since '95.
So I'm staring at the mainstream-US female beauty culture wondering just what. the. fuck.
Of course I think that anyone should have the right to do whatever they feel needs being done to make themselves presentable to the world, before venturing forth into it. I would hardly be a good feminist if I didn't think so. And it makes sense for a person ought to attend to basic good grooming, and is certainly deserving of looking attractive. The whole "You owe it to yourself to take a spa day every now and then" concept. Why shouldn't you be attractive, given basic physical safety, and the limits of your own personal... person (whatever those limits happen to be) and the limits of current standards of attractiveness (slightly different than fashion) and current technology, and available budget (keeping in mind survival and comfort).
Psychological comfort is important too, as well as physical, and good grooming and personal attractiveness is an important part of psychological comfort.
But is it even a dichotomy, the idea that a person should be comfortable in their own selves when heading forth into the world, up against the idea that a woman should not have to wear makeup? That's the crux of it -- everyone (man, woman, other gender, those who do not wish their gender known) should be equipped with the freedom and agency to choose their attire, from covered and veiled from top to toe, to jaybird-naked; from dressed to avoid notice to dressed to attract it; from attire showcasing the concept of one as a sexual being, to attire that has no possible sexually attractive feature.
And I look at my own face -- I still have a skin color I'm all right with, I have a skin color and racial appearance that is dominant and accepted as beautiful in both my country and local area, I still have lips of a shape I like, I still have eyebrows of a shape and color I like, I still have eyelashes that appeal to me aesthetically although practically speaking they are too long as they stick together a la Aeon Flux a lot and stab me in the eye regularly and I do not like that (and thus if anyone ever slips me any of that eyelash-lengthening stuff, I am going to be pissed off for a good and solid medical reason, namely, that I really do not want more eyelashes stabbing me in the eye), I still have skin that is clear enough that I can appear as though I have nearly flawless skin if I cover as little as one square inch of it, I still have hair that is a color I accept as beautiful on others although I would prefer a different color on myself, I still like my eye color, I still like my eye shape, I still like my nose shape, I still like my hairstyle.
I can wash my face, put on lipstick, smear cover-up on the right side of my chin and on any spots and blend it in, and look lovely, and as if I'm wearing a full face of natural-looking makeup unless you know exactly what you're looking for. (My father once accused me of wearing eyebrow pencil, with my natural eyebrows and lipstick.) My hairstyle takes perhaps half an hour of maintenance for everyday wear (fifteen minutes unbraiding, brushing, and re-braiding, twice a day), and another ten minutes every few weeks, and an additional ten minutes before something if I am trying for a particular effect.
This sounds like bragging. Perhaps it is. But all these things add up to not just beauty, but privilege. I don't have to worry about so many little things that other women do worry about. This represents fewer demands on my time, and less of a drain on my self-esteem if I do not have the time or other resources to make myself look tip-top before looking at myself in the mirror, meeting close friends, or going out in public. So I can afford to look at that in horror, because maintaining my face in a way I consider attractive does not take that much work.
I also was raised outside of US television culture, and am fat, smart, and bisexual. These add up to not having my self-esteem tied up in beauty culture.
I was raised outside of US television culture. This means that while I was inundated with a number of things that sucked as a child, I did not get exposed to the ceaseless barrage of bad tape about appearance; I had quite enough bad tape about appearance as it was from my father's constant yo-yo dieting. Lack of television barrage, while it did not help me acculturate to my peers, means that I can get over the worst of the appearance fixation a lot easier than many of my peers can.
I am fat, which means that no matter what else I do to my appearance, unless I lose enough weight to make me actively unhealthy, I cannot be a mainstream beauty, I can only be a fetish object, a subject of mockery, or both. (We tried diet and exercise in high school, which led to some really entertaining stuff like collapsing in the middle of fencing class. We know exactly what kind of crazy happens when we actively try to lose weight, so even well-intentioned comments on that front are not welcome. ever.)
I do not seek out literature that shames my appearance for entertainment or self-improvement, although I risk exposure to this as part of daily life on the internet. I do not seek out television that shames my appearance for entertainment or self-improvement, although I risk exposure to this any time I am exposed to television, even when watching my favorite show. (That sentence hurt to type, by the way. In case you were wondering.)
I am smart. I've got tools to deconstruct a lot of the bullshit out there. I was praised for my feats of intelligence as a child, not my beauty. I have a lot more ego attached to my intelligence than to my appearance.
I'm bi*sexual, which puts me outside the A WOMAN NEEDS A MAN fuckmarket, even though I do have relationships with men, and tend to pair-bond with them stronger. This means that I'm not necessarily going to marry a man, if I get married at all. So the game where the ending is marriage and children? I'm not playing that game.
* Technically sapiosexual, but "bisexual" is the label I've been using since '95.
So I'm staring at the mainstream-US female beauty culture wondering just what. the. fuck.
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Several days later I was out with a friend's boyfriend, a man I thought was basically decent, but he and I know we have very little in common and have always found it hard to talk. Desperate for a conversational topic, I mentioned this experience. 'Oh yeah, they totally thought you were in college,' he said. 'You don't wear make-up and you talk about politics, so obviously you're under 21.'
He and I actually bonded a bit over that, because he thought it was mad, too. And given that he is a complete affable boofhead, if he can notice the stupidity, it's really stupid.
Edited for typo, and also to add that people at work in Australia comment if I show up wearing make-up beyond mascara: mascara is actually my test to see if I am awake enough to go to work -- if it gets onto my eyelashes and not up my nose, say, then I am fine.
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I started wearing makeup regularly for my job after I graduated, and then stopped when I discovered that my thought process was reshaping itself into "I don't look pretty or presentable without changing who I am in this way." I still worry about the predominant cultural thought of "you will not get a job/get a raise/keep a job/etc. without makeup"--enough so that I cave to makeup on interviews and might cave more for a job that wasn't at a college--but just...ugh. I would like to keep liking the way I look without makeup. Not wearing makeup helps with that.
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I went through the phase in HS, trying to fit in of makeup or no going out. Once I became ill with whatever the frack it is causing fatigue and pain, makeup became a luxury for when I was feeling good.
I also have spent most of my life in a male-dominated field. For the longest time I was one of less than 10 women (used in the sense of XX carriers) in an entire department, and then the only one on a team of 20 doing work that women normally weren't interested in doing. The people I worked with considered me one of the guys, so anything beyond "is this clean and comfy" really didn't enter into my fashion/makeup spectrum. When I worked in food service - there was NO way I could even think of wearing anything other than a moisturizer - anything more and I'd break out.
Most people still to this day put me 5-10 years younger than I actually am - I don't act or look my age evidently. Both are genetic in my family - my grandmother died at 70 looking in her 50s. My 90-some year old Great Aunt looks in her 60s, and acts like it too.
Whee... rambly... :o)