High-pitched noises

[azurelunatic]

Collected in part from discussion in #dreamwidth-bitch, participants including Azz, jeshyr, due, Inoru, _Simon_:

Scream 3 octaves higher than normal
Scream like a piccolo
Scream like a soprano with laryngitis?
Scream like a teakettle?
Scream like a dog whistle (hyperbole!)
Scream like castrati?
Scream like you just sat on a cactus
Squeak like a bunch of grade three kids who've studied violin for eight weeks (Squeak like a handful of pre-Twinklers)
Clash like a badly tuned piano?
Squeal like a piano meeting a bulldozer!
Shriek like brakes that need new pads.
Shriek like brakes that have a stone caught in them
Squeak like Adam Savage on helium
Shriek like an excited toddler in a swimming pool

Why the cacophony? rb found an insect in hir hair, and there was shrieking. And since for a number of very good reasons rb does not use the phrase "scream like a little girl" (starting with sexism and progressing through fun-with-kyriarchy), there was a sudden outburst of brainstorming and related hilarity.

(If you've never heard pre-Twinklers at work, I recommend it. Once. When one listens to music, one doesn't necessarily think about what happens in order to make music, and the sounds that emit from the instruments of the neophytes is one reason why practice rooms get soundproofed. It's sort of like the classic aphorisms about sausage-making and creating laws, except after a while the sounds get better.)

(And then imagine a horde of 3- to 7-year-old pre-Twinklers with candy slide whistles. You may be wincing, but consider: that was my first job.)

Comments

Total digression

[vass]

one reason why practice rooms get soundproofed

You just inadvertently pushed my rant button.

There are people (I am not saying you are one of them) who rationally understand that instrumentalists need to practise their instruments to sound good, and that this practice must continue on a daily basis even for very skilled performers, but who believe that the same does not apply to singers, because that's just 'natural'. It therefore follows that if a singer ever makes a bad noise she's just a bad singer, and that if a good singer does scales, she's just wasting time and being annoying and noisy.

I had to share a college with people who believed this, and who were perfectly understanding of the French horn and flute-playing music students who needed to practise, but who were very irritated when I needed to do the same.

Also, there's another rant buried in there about how yes, many music schools do accept singers at a lower level of accomplishment than they require of their instrumental applicants. No, this is not unfair. It is for two reasons. One: voices take time to reach physical maturity and recover from the hormonal changes of puberty. Yes, all voices, not just the tenors, baritones, and basses. Two, it is physically impossible for a singer to practise for five or more hours a day, the way pianists or violinists do. For a singer, the maximum recommended would be about two hours, and that's not for uni students. Of course they can put in more practice time doing other things, like memorising music, playing piano, studying languages. But that is all the time they can spend singing. It is a lot easier to get an overuse injury from singing than it is from piano.

Re: Total digression

[azurelunatic]

This is an excellent rant.

I used to sing regularly. Now my voice is all out of wack due to neglect.

[chagrined]

I like the Adam Savage on helium one :)

[trixieleitz]

Scream like you just found an insect in your hair? ;)

[jeshyr]

Now why didn't I think of that one!?

Luckily it was just a fly and I felt very silly...

[silveradept]

Scream like a old CRT that's been left on after the computer's been turned off.

Scream like a fan(x) upon seeing their favorite Y.

Hopefully, though, the insect has been dealt with appropriately.

[cxcvi]

Scream like an undecently loud horizontal flyback transformer.

[silveradept]

I don't remember if I've ever heard one of those (unless it's the same as the CRT one I mentioned above), but after reading up on it, I can imagine the kind of sonic assault such a thing would produce.

[jeshyr]

It turned out the insect in question was a common housefly and it happily flew away after it had recovered from the shock of my screaming at it!

[silveradept]

Oh, good. All's well that ends well, then.

[tamouse]

So, pre-Twinklers eventually turn into Twinklers, and eventually into Minuet in G-ers, and so on -- practice makes one better.

This is so for many many things.

So, why don't legislators get any better?

[silveradept]

Because legislators are not actually in the business of legislating. They're a bill factory, taking outside inputs and turning them into laws without taking the time to craft their own or read what's coming through, excepting in very rare circumstances. Thus, they get no practice at legislating, only at campaigning, raising funds, and politicking.