Appropriate Housewares

[azurelunatic]

Toasters, or toaster ovens, seem to be associated with love, marriage, and polyamory. These make them appropriate for matespirits.

This week, it was determined that kettles (especially electric kettles) were the appropriate small appliance for the celebration of a moraillegiance.

(Non-Homestuck readers, here is where I recommend some background reading on troll relationships. Basically, matespiritship is the "love" that we humans know and, heh, love; moraillegiance is a (human-platonic) bffitude compelled by fate; auspistice is the sucker who keeps you from actually killing (or fucking) that one complete jackass; and kismesis is the sort of loathing that leads to a thousand fangirls writing juicy, juicy hatesex (and they're not wrong either).)

After that, it was but a short step towards discussing the appropriate housewares for the celebration of relationships in the other two quadrants.

I suggested a fire extinguisher, and wondered which of the blackrom quadrants that was intended for. cleverthylacine said that it had to be for the neighbors of a kismesis pairing, because of the likely collateral damage.

Me, I'm still not sure if that wouldn't fall more under the auspices of auspistice, since it's the conciliatory and/or bystanding parties who'd be issued the fire extinguisher, because they'd need it.

This still leaves us with at least one quadrant un-accounted for in housewares. Which is it, and what should it be?

Comments

[chagrined]

ALTHOUGH!! At least from how I understand the quadrants, those parallels to human things don't ~totally~ work. Like the difference btwn love and pity. And also how I am sad b/c I WAS calling my BFF my moirail, but then I thought more about it and it's like, a moirail is supposed to keep you in check and stuff (shooshpaps and whatnot). And me and my BFF are ttly horrible at that, we're complete enablers of each other. lolwhoops.

Anywho, enough about my lack of any filled quadrants. XD

A kettle ttly makes sense for moirails b/c tea would also be fitting for like, calming someone down or sitting them down to have a feelings jam or w/e, hahaha.

LOL @ fire extinguisher! Hmmmm, well, I'll pick auspistice, but ONLY B/C:

OBVSLY BOTH MATESPIRT AND KISMESIS PAIRS SHOULD BE GETTING BUCKETS, HERE!!! ;D ;D

(eta: b/c yes I am ttly the person who would give sex toys as gifts)

[azurelunatic]

I feel very lucky to have a bff where we do keep each other in check. It's lovely. Though enabling is fun as well!

Tea is awesome.

[cypher]

Dropping by via network! I like the idea of a fire extinguisher as an auspistice gift. And I think that leaves the first-aid kit as the clear choice of gift for your friend who has a new kismesis (because it's either that or a set of knives, and knives put you into black-flirting territory yourself, which is just rude). Perhaps, if you know both halves of the lucky couple, coordinating first-aid kits in the appropriate blood colors.

[azurelunatic]

Oooo, I like it. :D Either the first aid kit or something that works as a weapon, if your relationship is such that it won't be black-flirting. Probably someone could give knives if they were already ashen with someone, as a signal that they were enabling the kismesis rather than going to interfere.

[cypher]

Probably someone could give knives if they were already ashen with someone, as a signal that they were enabling the kismesis rather than going to interfere.

I love that idea! A gift that says, "Yes, this person will hate you the way you deserve to be hated, and I approve."

[azurelunatic]

Exactly! I think fondly of all the trolls who thought that they were going to have a great kismesis this time -- and then their stupid buddy auspisticized between them. (For their own good. But still.)

[cypher]

hahah yes, poor things. Sure that this was it, this was the one -- while their ashfriend stands there going "Oh no, sweetie, honestly, it would be a disaster. And not the hot kind."

[azurelunatic]

*snerk* Yeah.

... I just realized that synecdochic is totally doing that for me vs. LJ. "Come on honey, it's not worth it. Hush now."

[synecdochic]

hahahahahaha

Like certain other people, I am definitely the village two wheeled transportation device when it comes to auspisticising. *g*

[azurelunatic]

*rides around*

[cleverthylacine]

That Sollux icon is 22 kinds of adorable.

[cypher]

♥!

He is my iin2ufferable bb.

Tangentially related, if you or anyone else in this post would like to come toss some prompts at bucketlist, we're trying to get a DW-native kink meme off the ground for those of us who are happier doing fandom over here. :3

[cleverthylacine]

I'll have to check that out--that is a GREAT name for a Homestuck kink meme.

[cleverthylacine]

Kismesis pairs don't usually live together.

At least not long.

[azurelunatic]

It is much more of a separate-secret-lairs kind of relationship.

[synecdochic]

i lived with my kismesis for a year in college.

Thankfully, the guy who lived downstairs liked to auspistice with smokables.

[azurelunatic]

Hooray for the guy downstairs!

And my apologies for, uh. *points up a thread*

[synecdochic]

I'm not kidding, there were five of us in the apartment and my kismesis and I were ... kind of deeply unhealthily in lovehate for a while. There were knives involved at least once.

If it hadn't been for Troy, I'd've probably been arrested or dead long before you knew me!

[azurelunatic]

That would not have been good! I am glad that downstairs was ashen.

[cleverthylacine]

I completely relate. One of the reasons I do not live with people I'm flushed over is that I am historically very prone to the dreaded red/black reacharound--I've been in three of them.

[cleverthylacine]

That sounds like a really fortunate downstairs neighbour to have.

[mfb]

I like the idea of electric kettles for moirails in no small part because I could really use an electric kettle right now.

[azurelunatic]

...This ... was a factor, yes. "Hey what kind of housewares youse guys need?"

[verity]

I'M USING THE KETTLE RIGHT NOW :D

[azurelunatic]

OMG WHEEEE.

I saw the listing. It is a lovely kettle. I may have gasped and gone "OMG YES YES YES" when I saw it.

[cleverthylacine]

We love the kettle.

[krait]

I suggest riot shields. :D

Or if you're determined to stick with traditional housewares, how about knife sets? Grilling tools?

[azurelunatic]

A good long stabby fork sounds appropriate.