Surfing the wave of the morally questionable but not explicitly prohibited...

[azurelunatic]

...so my Overlady doesn't have to.

(Unlike Skippy, most of these were not in fact direct orders, merely an exercise in observation and extrapolation.)


Previously: Things Azz Wasn't Allowed to Do as a Domain-Atrix


Things Azz Is Not Allowed To Do As Virtual Minion (Part 1):

1. Not allowed to discuss anything covered under the NDA with anyone who's not covered under the same NDA. (So while there may be future hilarious shenanigans that intrinsically involve NDA-covered stuff, only my actual co-workers are allowed to hear them. However, most of my job involves administrative support so far.)
2. Not allowed to hit users with hammers to get product feedback. We use post-its instead.
3. Absolutely must not lose the keys to the all-important team supply cabinets.
4. Not allowed to be bored. (Rather than giving me busy-work, if there's nothing to do, I go home. They will be gradually ramping up the things they pile upon me.)
5. May not carry out inexplicable/nonsensical orders without checking to make sure they make good sense in context first. (Specifically, orders from the overmanager who has a history of great ideas that don't always make sense in context.)
6. Should likely not compare my position to that of Ivan Vorpatril in A Civil Campaign -- yes, it is entirely a situation with one private and a whole bunch of generals, but none of them are actually as scary as a High Vor matron, let alone a whole platoon of them.
7. May not order from the list of Restricted Items without a manager's approval.
8. Arguing with the notoriously cantankerous printer/scanner/fax is permitted, but unlikely to be fruitful, as it is more stubborn than I am, and has amazingly shitty UI.
9. If the printer is actually broken, only people whose job it is to fix it are allowed to try, and those people are not me.
10. There are probably hundreds of potential uses for about 500 stickers with an outdated and/or misprinted version of a company logo and/or slogan on them. Are *any* of those uses likely to be permitted?
11. While "folding attack spider" is certainly an evocative description, it's not a very helpful item to list in the team supply cabinet inventory.
12. Not allowed to lose the boxes to the other folding easels, lest they also lurk in the drawer as a folding attack spider.
13. Finally allowed to dispose of the large box overflowing with huge scrolls of paper bedaubed with post-its from ancient meetings.
14. Not allowed to directly recycle anything with potentially sensitive writing on it, as all that must be shredded.
15. It's not very neighborly to jam other departments' shred-bins full of All The Paper.
16. The prohibition about sharps in the shred-bins holds true here too. (I had to explain why the sight of a shred-bin was making me snicker, while getting an orientation tour.)
17. There is no horn pile in this workplace, and therefore napping in it is not even possible, let alone permitted.
18. Absolutely not allowed to do anything to upset, alienate, or discompose the very nice cleaning lady who provides the extra-big bag for the directly-recyclable parts of the paper pile.
19. Going along with the Overlady and Manager's cunning plans for cocktails? Permitted. However, the rooster part, perhaps not so much.
20. One cannot actually order roosters through Office Depot; if one could, they'd certainly be on the Restricted Items list.
21. (The Overlady, meanwhile, has realized that she should be careful what she wishes for lest it be granted.)
22. "Hive" is merely a semi-arbitrary designation assigned to a room that it may henceforth be identified more quickly. The Hive does not require bees, wasps, or those vespine aliens from those books about the telepaths.

Part 2

Comments

[jd]

Not allowed to be bored. (Rather than giving me busy-work, if there's nothing to do, I go home. They will be gradually ramping up the things they pile upon me.)
This is a difficult one, or at least it has been for me. Especially because that is why I was part-time most of the time at my previous job. Working too efficiently: sometimes a bad thing!

[azurelunatic]

I can often find things to do! As I settle in, my endurance will level up too. Though this week I am basically done for the week because I have the office cold and there is nothing that trumps that for the rest of the week. Last night was kind of hilarious. I was overheated, chilled, and all of the everything hurt everywhere.