Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-06-09 12:16 am
azurelunatic) wrote2002-06-09 12:16 am
(no subject)
I got a telemarketing call from the military for my younger sister once. I stated that my sister was a pacifist and wouldn't belong in the army.
TM: "We have many jobs that don't include violence. What sort of career is your sister interested in? We could help her with her plans..."
Me: "She wants to be a wandering minstrel."
TM: "....Well..." (long pause) "...We have a band...."
Later, they called back to talk to me.
TM: "Hello, is this Miss <mangled first name, mangled last name>?"
Me: "Yes..."
TM: "My name is <Rank> <Lastname> of the <military affiliation> and I was wondering if you were interested in signing up for the army."
Me: "As a matter of fact, I considered it for about two months when I was getting ready to leave high school."
TM: "That's nice. So perhaps now we can help you realize this ambition--"
Me, interrupting: "And then I found religion and realized I wasn't stupid enough to go into the Army."
TM: "Religious beliefs need not be a reason for staying out of the army; the army makes every effort to---"
Me: "I'm Wiccan. AN IT HARM NONE, DO AS YE WILL. But I was wondering, I have an old friend who went into the Army a couple years ago, and he hasn't written back to me since before September 11th, and I was wondering, do you know how I could get in touch with him?"
TM, trying to be helpful: "You could try his..."
Me: "I don't know any of that, he never gave me his address. I think he was somewhere in Germany, the last time he wrote to me... "
TM then tries desperately to get off the phone with me. I keep him online trying to track Dave down for the next five minutes. The guy says he'll call me back if he finds out how I can find my friend, obviously thinking that perhaps the reason this guy joined up in the first place was to get away from me.
The military's never called me back, for some reason...
TM: "We have many jobs that don't include violence. What sort of career is your sister interested in? We could help her with her plans..."
Me: "She wants to be a wandering minstrel."
TM: "....Well..." (long pause) "...We have a band...."
Later, they called back to talk to me.
TM: "Hello, is this Miss <mangled first name, mangled last name>?"
Me: "Yes..."
TM: "My name is <Rank> <Lastname> of the <military affiliation> and I was wondering if you were interested in signing up for the army."
Me: "As a matter of fact, I considered it for about two months when I was getting ready to leave high school."
TM: "That's nice. So perhaps now we can help you realize this ambition--"
Me, interrupting: "And then I found religion and realized I wasn't stupid enough to go into the Army."
TM: "Religious beliefs need not be a reason for staying out of the army; the army makes every effort to---"
Me: "I'm Wiccan. AN IT HARM NONE, DO AS YE WILL. But I was wondering, I have an old friend who went into the Army a couple years ago, and he hasn't written back to me since before September 11th, and I was wondering, do you know how I could get in touch with him?"
TM, trying to be helpful: "You could try his
Me: "I don't know any of that, he never gave me his address. I think he was somewhere in Germany, the last time he wrote to me... "
TM then tries desperately to get off the phone with me. I keep him online trying to track Dave down for the next five minutes. The guy says he'll call me back if he finds out how I can find my friend, obviously thinking that perhaps the reason this guy joined up in the first place was to get away from me.
The military's never called me back, for some reason...
Lol
If they ever call back try this one...
(use a lovely hick accent)
"Sir, they don't let me join the army after what i done."
Then proceed to tell them a bone chilling story about your brother-husband and the long family tradition of "keepin the blood pure".
Hee, tempting.
(of course)
Re: Lol