Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2013-03-31 11:38 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2013-03-31 11:38 pm
Entry tags:
... just. what.
The first thing: I maintain a candy dish at work. Most of the time it contains ... stuff. Things. Whatever random candy I happen to have around. Often fun-size, often chocolate.
I went out to grab something to eat (more on that later), and on the way back, I stopped at Safeway.
Tomorrow, that candy dish will contain:
* Pink peeps
* Easter candy corn
* pop rocks
* My Little Pony fruit snacks
and last but definitely not least...
* fruit-filled Hello Kitty marshmallows
So I was on my way back from Jack-in-the-crack. Stoplight. I stuffed the straw into the cup. I took a sip of strawberry soda. I set the cup back in the cupholder --
-- and the thing jizzed on me. I swear to fucking gods. This squirt of strawberry soda shot out the straw and striped itself down my nearest tit.
My soda. Jizzed on me. There was really no other way to describe it. My gods. No foolin'. The universe has fuckin' pranked me. I am entirely satisfied with the holiday.
I went out to grab something to eat (more on that later), and on the way back, I stopped at Safeway.
Tomorrow, that candy dish will contain:
* Pink peeps
* Easter candy corn
* pop rocks
* My Little Pony fruit snacks
and last but definitely not least...
* fruit-filled Hello Kitty marshmallows
So I was on my way back from Jack-in-the-crack. Stoplight. I stuffed the straw into the cup. I took a sip of strawberry soda. I set the cup back in the cupholder --
-- and the thing jizzed on me. I swear to fucking gods. This squirt of strawberry soda shot out the straw and striped itself down my nearest tit.
My soda. Jizzed on me. There was really no other way to describe it. My gods. No foolin'. The universe has fuckin' pranked me. I am entirely satisfied with the holiday.