Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2013-04-06 01:29 am
azurelunatic) wrote2013-04-06 01:29 am
Kat's Avengers Headcanon:
So I was on the phone with zarhooie and she made me type this.
* Tony basically lives on ramen in his lab.
* Bruce has set up a small microwave in the lab for this purpose.
* He has also taught Dummy how to microwave ramen.
* Dummy can tear open a ramen package with his hand, and fish out the bits of plastic (sort of). He can add water and microwave it.
* He cannot however open the spice package. So Tony has to fish it out.
* Dummy shoves the ramen in Tony's face until he eats it.
* Bruce has replaced the spice packets in Tony's ramen with lightly salted vitamins, for nutrition and controlling the level of salt.
* At one point Bruce and Tony are on a road trip and Tony loses his wallet, so they have to get a crappy motel with the cash that's in the car. They eat ramen. Tony is upset that it's too salty and not as ~filling~.
* Then they have sex.
* Clint basically lives in the air ducts. (duh.)
* Some of the air ducts appear to be sort of nonfunctional, as in they don't actually distribute air.
* This is because they're a-purpose-built for Clint (not that he knows it).
* Tony included them in the design to make Clint feel more at home --
* -- and also because he does not want the Avengers Tower to smell like Clint's farts, because Clint would *totally* let one on purpose in just the wrong place when he'd eaten something that makes them stink in a particularly vile way.
* Peggy is Coulson's mother. Cap was sort of like a weird dead stepdad/One That Got Away That Mom Never Shuts Up About. Of course Coulson's got (step)daddy issues.
"I can typer all the thinger." -- Azz, upon being ordered to type these things up because Kat will have forgotten them in the morning.
Edited to add: Now there is http://archiveofourown.org/works/750449
zarhooie and she made me type this. * Tony basically lives on ramen in his lab.
* Bruce has set up a small microwave in the lab for this purpose.
* He has also taught Dummy how to microwave ramen.
* Dummy can tear open a ramen package with his hand, and fish out the bits of plastic (sort of). He can add water and microwave it.
* He cannot however open the spice package. So Tony has to fish it out.
* Dummy shoves the ramen in Tony's face until he eats it.
* Bruce has replaced the spice packets in Tony's ramen with lightly salted vitamins, for nutrition and controlling the level of salt.
* At one point Bruce and Tony are on a road trip and Tony loses his wallet, so they have to get a crappy motel with the cash that's in the car. They eat ramen. Tony is upset that it's too salty and not as ~filling~.
* Then they have sex.
* Clint basically lives in the air ducts. (duh.)
* Some of the air ducts appear to be sort of nonfunctional, as in they don't actually distribute air.
* This is because they're a-purpose-built for Clint (not that he knows it).
* Tony included them in the design to make Clint feel more at home --
* -- and also because he does not want the Avengers Tower to smell like Clint's farts, because Clint would *totally* let one on purpose in just the wrong place when he'd eaten something that makes them stink in a particularly vile way.
* Peggy is Coulson's mother. Cap was sort of like a weird dead stepdad/One That Got Away That Mom Never Shuts Up About. Of course Coulson's got (step)daddy issues.
"I can typer all the thinger." -- Azz, upon being ordered to type these things up because Kat will have forgotten them in the morning.
Edited to add: Now there is http://archiveofourown.org/works/750449
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Steve has an apartment in his old place, which got gentrified while he was away, but no-one there knows he's Captain America and his landlady thinks he's gay.
Nick Fury doesn't have an apartment, he has an alcove in his office that he rests standing at attention in.
Nick Fury was Shaft, he changed his name when S.H.I.L.D recruited him.
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I love this. This is headcanon now, just so you know.
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That's quite a compliment! Thank you.
Although, it's going to be awkward when she tries to set him up with a date. She has a friend with such a nice son, he's a doctor you know...
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I think I am increasingly unable to separate fanon from canon, given the prevalence and apparent unity of the former. It's alarming.
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