Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2013-09-09 03:16 am
azurelunatic) wrote2013-09-09 03:16 am
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THIS IS NOT A THING I AM DOING IT IS TO GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD.
As cleverthylacine knows Cassie from Old Fandom Days, and I've read and enjoyed the Mortal Instruments books, we sort of had to go see the movie. We had fun!
(My Infamous Cousin read the first Mortal Instruments book, and the first Twilight book, and found them of comparable genre and quality. He did revise the estimate somewhat upon exposure to the rest of the Twilight series. I found that Twilight is best enjoyed with friends and popcorn and quoting aloud of some of the purplest phrases.)
I conclude, from the movie: My Mortal Instruments OTP is now unshakably Izzy/Flamethrower. Accept no substitutes. Best & hottest chemistry by far.
About halfway through the movie, there's a shot of the New York skyline. Now, my exposure to TV is limited, and thus my main exposure to (real or fictional) New York City skyline is in fact How I Met Your Mother. And I found myself looking for and not seeing the GNB tower.
(Head, meet desk.)
Naturally, over coffee and on our way home, I commenced figuring out where exactly the various HIMYM characters would fit into a Mortal Instruments\HIMYM fusion.
KIDS, I'm going to tell you an incredible story. The story of how I met your mother. You know the short version, the thing with your mom's yellow stele, but there's a bigger story...
(In which Lily, Marshall, and Robin are all Shadowhunters, Barney has Shadowhunter blood but has had his memories locked down after his mother felt his Shadowhunter dad was being a bad influence on him, and Ted is a regular human.)
One night while stumbling into the alley behind MacLaren's Pub on a personal errand -- it was Barney, so it's best not to ask what *kind* of personal errand -- your Uncle Barney encountered a truly disturbing sight.
Barney watches in horror as what he thinks looks like a very kinky, very hot, intimate moment between Marshall, Lily, and some other dude turns very violent very quickly as Marshall starts stabbing the shit out of the guy and Lily pulls this glowing whip from somewhere and wields it with consummate ease. ROBIN emerges from the shadows and finishes him off; he blows up in the typical DEMON CLOUD OF SMOKE.
(Your Uncle Barney freaked out, of course.)
Barney begins babbling about how he knows a guy, he can get them fake passports and have them on their way to a country with a non-extradition treaty within two hours, three tops. Lily and Marshall tag-team explain that the guy was a demon, and that this chick is Robin, and all three of them are Shadowhunters.
And MacLaren's is the upstairs for the massive Institute complex downstairs.
Marshall has skills with blades. Lily has whips *and* is good with runes, which is just not fair. Robin? All over the ranged weapons. The Mother? Well, she's got a GREAT BIG AXE.
Ted has hurt himself several times with one of Uncle Marshall's swords, and with Lily's flail.
Barney, meeting the Silent Brothers. It does not go well.
Ted, trying to Nice Guy his way through Shadowhunter ladies (and various Downworlders). It does not go well.
Barney, trying to Barney his way through Shadowhunter and Downworlder ladies. He still has a lot more sex than Ted does, but it gets to the death threat part a lot earlier. The playbook is a lot less helpful when it comes to ladies who know who you are, can possibly read your mind, and can definitely kill you.
Marshall's gazillion brothers are still all taller than him, and haven't gotten any less generally obnoxious to him with the translation between universes. Their pranks generally involve more runes, though.
....
...
(oh god, oh god, oh god, WHAT EVEN IS THIS.)
cleverthylacine knows Cassie from Old Fandom Days, and I've read and enjoyed the Mortal Instruments books, we sort of had to go see the movie. We had fun! (My Infamous Cousin read the first Mortal Instruments book, and the first Twilight book, and found them of comparable genre and quality. He did revise the estimate somewhat upon exposure to the rest of the Twilight series. I found that Twilight is best enjoyed with friends and popcorn and quoting aloud of some of the purplest phrases.)
I conclude, from the movie: My Mortal Instruments OTP is now unshakably Izzy/Flamethrower. Accept no substitutes. Best & hottest chemistry by far.
About halfway through the movie, there's a shot of the New York skyline. Now, my exposure to TV is limited, and thus my main exposure to (real or fictional) New York City skyline is in fact How I Met Your Mother. And I found myself looking for and not seeing the GNB tower.
(Head, meet desk.)
Naturally, over coffee and on our way home, I commenced figuring out where exactly the various HIMYM characters would fit into a Mortal Instruments\HIMYM fusion.
***
KIDS, I'm going to tell you an incredible story. The story of how I met your mother. You know the short version, the thing with your mom's yellow stele, but there's a bigger story...
(In which Lily, Marshall, and Robin are all Shadowhunters, Barney has Shadowhunter blood but has had his memories locked down after his mother felt his Shadowhunter dad was being a bad influence on him, and Ted is a regular human.)
One night while stumbling into the alley behind MacLaren's Pub on a personal errand -- it was Barney, so it's best not to ask what *kind* of personal errand -- your Uncle Barney encountered a truly disturbing sight.
Barney watches in horror as what he thinks looks like a very kinky, very hot, intimate moment between Marshall, Lily, and some other dude turns very violent very quickly as Marshall starts stabbing the shit out of the guy and Lily pulls this glowing whip from somewhere and wields it with consummate ease. ROBIN emerges from the shadows and finishes him off; he blows up in the typical DEMON CLOUD OF SMOKE.
(Your Uncle Barney freaked out, of course.)
Barney begins babbling about how he knows a guy, he can get them fake passports and have them on their way to a country with a non-extradition treaty within two hours, three tops. Lily and Marshall tag-team explain that the guy was a demon, and that this chick is Robin, and all three of them are Shadowhunters.
And MacLaren's is the upstairs for the massive Institute complex downstairs.
Marshall has skills with blades. Lily has whips *and* is good with runes, which is just not fair. Robin? All over the ranged weapons. The Mother? Well, she's got a GREAT BIG AXE.
Ted has hurt himself several times with one of Uncle Marshall's swords, and with Lily's flail.
Barney, meeting the Silent Brothers. It does not go well.
Ted, trying to Nice Guy his way through Shadowhunter ladies (and various Downworlders). It does not go well.
Barney, trying to Barney his way through Shadowhunter and Downworlder ladies. He still has a lot more sex than Ted does, but it gets to the death threat part a lot earlier. The playbook is a lot less helpful when it comes to ladies who know who you are, can possibly read your mind, and can definitely kill you.
Marshall's gazillion brothers are still all taller than him, and haven't gotten any less generally obnoxious to him with the translation between universes. Their pranks generally involve more runes, though.
....
...
(oh god, oh god, oh god, WHAT EVEN IS THIS.)
no subject
I've been a HIMYM fan for a long time, and I recently saw the Mortal Instruments movie. Even though I sorta knew Cassie from Ye Olde Harry Potter Fandom Dayze, I never read the Mortal Instruments books, so I'm working my way through City of Bones right now.
no subject
Maybe Ted eventually becomes a werewolf. I think that might suit him.
The paper notes that I scribbled
Notes from the Cassie Claire movie:
"What kind of New Yorker are you, Clary?" hee.
I miss drawing.
You were real busy, dang
hooooooshit
I kinda love Simon
no zombies
not the cup
Jaaaaaaaaaace
oh izzy :) <3
bones all over
Clary has real eyebrows
oooops
oh Valentine you crazy bastard
Irwin? (several underlines)
hannnnn silentbro
spooky
Aww baby
Clary
Clary does a lot of fainting so far
hi Magnus
you're pretty
so pretty
so glittery
ooops dad
oh dear god HIMYM & mortal instruments crossover
hahaha
church breakin (church cat bite ha)
send me an angel! right now!
Luke biohazard apropos
vamp house (underlined or crossed out)
shirtless simon
yes soundtrack
ted is the only non shadowhunter
izzy whip
baby's first kill
werewolf time
not another chandalier
team fursplode
almost kiss
oops, poor Jace
(I need ice @ home)
pretty blue eyed
oops heh
killy
skeletony jace
poor simon
loooove triangles
Jace/Piano
Bach, shadowhunter, lol
haha he said nook
stargaet
don't show her the bad things
oiiii
city of shirtless jace
draco in leather pants
oh this story (falcon)
valentine is an _asshole_
ASSHOLE (hawk)
kissyface
rain ensues
oops sketchbook
jace you asshole
"actually I hate the guy"
"why"
lol nice guy poor Simon
simon is such an asshole
horns, goatee
foreshadowing
rune copy time
tea and books with Hodge
oh god wtf, cup book
mortal sketchbook
o rite painting
I forgot this
also cups
cups
shirtless o'clock
oh skinny asshole guy
vogon poet
oh Simon
oh texty dude
glasslifes (????)
disarming
all the disarming
oh poetry
not poetry but
deeeeemon deeemon
deeemon deeeeeeeeeeemon
bach
deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemon
hepawary (???? )
donthea (????)
nooooooo
this is awfully violent
simon/shovel
brave simon
piano battle
that was really violent
poor jealous jace
vamp bit simon
oh Alec <3
soon Magnus
<3 poor Jace
Oh Izzy I <3 you so
sparkles the mage
oh Hodge :( :( :(
fucksticks Valentine
double take; V is for Vader and also Voldemort
karo syrup blood
"cleanse blood"
daddy's home
Jace = Barney (HIMYM)
DADDY ISSUES
hot tub time machine
did time travel? Nope. Limbo.
Creepy girl.
deeeeeeeeeemon.
Daddy werewolf
strobe light to WeMo switch
naked like
stomp demon
"we had a deal"
stabby fooosr (???)
got "silent all these years" in head (PotO)
evil Hodge
city of incest
demon floor
burning star nice sfx
yikes dome
stylin' Magnus
Valentine looks like Voltaire
Jace ohhhhhhh snap
oh shit
Jace
hahahahaha
Luuuuuke
Anakin
Asshole
werewolf schoolbus
floaty up shirt (???)
BAD WO --- shadowhunter
I like Izzy
angry birds
laser dance with demons
nooooo buddy werewolf
gtfo hodge
kill him baby
city of really awkward makeouts
"killed by wolves"
o snap
most awkward father daughter run-in
izzy/flamethrower
bad daddy
but you wanna see me change
wolf puns
at least no daedral (???) bract (????)
that was epic
freeze
floom
yay Simon
leather pants
helmets :(
helmet rune?