azurelunatic | My day, featuring: coffee to the tits!

Arrived at work in time to get a decent seat for the Very Large Meeting. Finished my Very Bi Pride Hat while at said meeting, for this was one of the meetings where not only is my role sitting down and shutting up and listening, but generally doing so from the back row and quietly. Yay crocheting. I managed, of course, to slop orange juice (not the real kind, the possibly-Tang kind) all down my front, where the cornmeal from the baked-scrambled-eggs-and-bacon bun adhered to it. Classy. So I went and soaked the front of my shirt in the getting of that off.

Next I got some iced coffee, so I could caffeinate while I did deskwork. I put half-and-half in it. I put some caramel in it. Then I knocked it over, soaking the user's manual for my headphones, the case for said headphones, a plastic baggie of binder clips (hardcore, I know), and splashing up the sides of three rainbow packs of post-its. Plus a substantial patch of floor. I filed a ticket for janitorial.

There was deskwork, there was lunch, there was spraying my shirt in the tit with coffee (apparently safely; I didn't get hurt), there was complaining about my liquid-related shenanigans to my Overlady, who did trump me by having managed to spill gasoline all up and down one leg, once upon a time, on her way to work. At least it didn't catch fire. Though my usual "reassuring" parting statement, "Well, nothing's on fire!" was more incorrect than usual today, because not only were there some houses on fire thattaway, there was also a recycling yard on fire the other way, and the combined stench was not sparing the air in the slightest. I feared coke bukkake later, but this did not transpire.

My manager had a meeting scheduled over our 1:1, but that's life! I have the flexible. Deskwork, then a research team meeting, and then SIGNING CARDS. So many cards. And deskwork again!

My manager has been hypnotized by my ever-changing colored lights, which I leave up all year but only plug in for holidays. They are rainbowtastic! I shared my victory in the matter of postmaster. Also my documentation in the matter of helpdeskfollowup. Apparently these are the darkest of arts.

Various current hilarity, much related to #$NEWCHANNEL and/or its denizens, and much because it's been repeated to the point of hilarity but not yet to the point of non-hilarity, mostly laid down here for my own ~~posterior~~ posterity:

* boyhole
* clownpole
* nono [in context this is often understood to be vagina]
* jumping and pooping (pooping and jumping)
* whether or not vampirism is contagious if you eat the vampire, that is, are there good steaks on a vampire? Does heat denature it? If the vampire is the sort that collapses into goo when staked, can you do a vampire scramble? will pickling denature vampirism?
* Is a claim of lycanthropy socially acceptable if it's a uterus problem?
* Crocodile!
* Brainpubes