azurelunatic | Raffi and Polyamory

I really think it's the way my parents raised me that makes me capable of polyamory.

I pinpointed my first encounter with compersion, because I wanted

rosalynde to have the same sort of experience, because I think it could very easily be a near-universal theme among polyamorists. My entire life and interactions with the outside world have made me feel very much like V. Michael Smith, the Stranger in a really bloody Strange Land. The first time someone I was currently involved with expressed interest in another woman and had that interest returned, I was bloody thrilled for him. He thought that I was going to be jealous as bloody fuck. I wasn't. There were a few hours of tension, mostly on his side because he thought I'd be horribly pissed, and frustration, on my side, because I couldn't communicate to him that I was just fine: his abject apologies were pissing me off!

I traced back. Had I felt jealousy before? Yeah, when Ty broke up with me for the other girl. But wait. I was pissed at him for pretending to be more involved with me than I was, and I was always amused and happy to hear about his adventures and misadventures with women after that.

I traced back more. Yeah, I'd been jealous of my sister when she acted like the toys she had were better than the toys I had.

That was about it.

I traced forward. With

pyrogenic and

boojum, I wanted him, but not at the expense of his relationship with her. "Share and share alike!" was the cheerful slogan that my girlfriend and I giggled over. He and she were so happy together; I couldn't take that away from them; who would want to split up a couple that was so happy?

I traced back again. Now, where was I getting that sharing thing from?

Montessori school. Raffi.

"It's mine, but you can have some.
With you I'd like to share it.
'Cause if I share it with you
You'll have some too!"

and

"The more we get together, together, together
The more we get together, the happier we'll be.
'Cause your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends
The more we get together, the happier we'll be."

Interesting. Very interesting.