Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2014-01-19 02:33 am
azurelunatic) wrote2014-01-19 02:33 am
BFF vs. quadrants
Still feeling weirdly happy over the BFF's reaction to yet another Shawn story. The details aren't particularly important, but Shawn had been casually and deliberately cruel to me, and I'd retaliated for once, then rethought my actions.
My bff grumbled something that took me a bit to unstack the nuances. He thought my response had been insufficient. He thought my beef was justified. He was proud of past!me for standing up. He was unhappy with Shawn for treating past!me poorly. He really needs to not be introduced to Shawn ever, because he wound up cleaning up so much of the mess Shawn made, and he harbors a grudge.
It pleases me that the bff has such a high regard for my general emotional coherence and specific Shawn-related well-being. Also that he can tell when I am telling a story about a time I was hurt badly, regardless of how well I have since moved on.
The other side of the usual form of ashen is defending me against the world, and I am charmed to accept that from him. It's rarer these days that he or anyone would have to defend the world from me.
My bff grumbled something that took me a bit to unstack the nuances. He thought my response had been insufficient. He thought my beef was justified. He was proud of past!me for standing up. He was unhappy with Shawn for treating past!me poorly. He really needs to not be introduced to Shawn ever, because he wound up cleaning up so much of the mess Shawn made, and he harbors a grudge.
It pleases me that the bff has such a high regard for my general emotional coherence and specific Shawn-related well-being. Also that he can tell when I am telling a story about a time I was hurt badly, regardless of how well I have since moved on.
The other side of the usual form of ashen is defending me against the world, and I am charmed to accept that from him. It's rarer these days that he or anyone would have to defend the world from me.