azurelunatic: "Come and dance and love the fish! Mister Disco summoned it!" (love the fish)
Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 ([personal profile] azurelunatic) wrote2014-01-23 02:50 am


This is one of the things where you possibly had to be there, but. So I'd just fucked off to the mail room in another building because mine was out of envelopes, and on my way back I swung by lb's office. lb was a zombie. I came back around and encountered the Renaissance Man's erstwhile teammate, and then the Renaissance Man came forth from his office. A conversation started up (as it often does).

Now, a note about the Renaissance Man's sense of humor. He has often described it as "one step below", in that however low you have set the conversational tone, he will one-down you. If you have two people engaged in a game of one-downsmanship, things can get pretty grotesque pretty fast. I consider the theme of my particular sense of humor the ability to catch the theme and merrily go along with it. Sometimes this is in the spirit of rowing an already swiftly moving boat, and sometimes in the spirit of the martial artist who notices their opponent's fist traveling in an arc leading to the ground, and helpfully assists that arc to its inevitable completion.

The combination of these two conversational styles can get bizarre. Throughout the exchange, we were both giggling; I had become punchy enough to start crying laughing at a few points. The third party didn't really have much to say on the topic, but was enjoying the exchange with the same apparent appreciation as one might have for a spontaneous standup comedy act.

Being me, I recounted this to those of the usual suspects who hadn't been there; because it was that sort of conversation, I went for #adventuresofstnono rather than #cupcake. Then I shared with [personal profile] sithjawa, who also had horrifying and/or enlightening commentary. Several denizens of #adventuresofstnono who I don't know that well have been nicknamed.

[personal profile] azurelunatic: lb: so on the way back to my cube I encountered the Renaissance Man, and we started from "lb is a zombie today because Comcast" and wound up at "See you later, I'm going to go hot-glue some anchovies to a brick."

[00:36] [personal profile] sithjawa: I WAS WONDERING HOW THATHAPPENED
[00:36] [personal profile] sithjawa: BECAuSE ANCHOVIES
[00:36] [personal profile] sithjawa: are squishy
[00:36] azurelunatic: yes
[00:36] [personal profile] sithjawa: and also ferment
[00:36] azurelunatic: such ferment
[00:36] azurelunatic: so squish
[00:36] azurelunatic: wow
[00:37] [personal profile] sithjawa: very anchoview
[00:37] [personal profile] sithjawa: ..... anchovies. anchoview is the name of the overlook above the chili farm.
[00:37] azurelunatic: ... of course it is

lb: message: be sure the Renaissance Man has enough bricks
dude1: why fish bricks?
[personal profile] azurelunatic: well, we got from Comcast trying to squeeze blood from a stone, to delivering that stone via Windows Express
[personal profile] azurelunatic: and the Renaissance Man allowed as how a brick was the traditional material for Windows Express messages
dude1: hah

[personal profile] sithjawa: ...[dudelydude] has a story of a hard drive manufacturer who went bankrupt while they still had orders outstanding
[personal profile] sithjawa: so they sent them bricks
[personal profile] sithjawa: because they had to ship them something
azurelunatic: :( :( :(
[personal profile] sithjawa: I think the bricks were probably nearly as valuable as the actual hard drives, with no support or replacement parts ever again.
azurelunatic: there *is* that
[personal profile] sithjawa: I don't know what hard drive manufacturer it was, but I think everybody got their paperweight one way or the other.
[personal profile] sithjawa: At least the bricks were standard bricks compatible with other bricks.
[00:43] azurelunatic: I suppose so.

[personal profile] azurelunatic: but that ideally it would be attached to a former Comcast sales rep giving the finger, when thrown through the window
[personal profile] azurelunatic: but those are sort of unwieldy, so you might just want the hand

(at this point I explained the One Step Lower concept to [personal profile] sithjawa.)

[personal profile] azurelunatic: but cadaver pranks aside, no one in law enforcement has much of a sense of humor left after the investigations that would be mandatory with a stray human hand
[personal profile] azurelunatic: so I suggested fish
dude1: haha

azurelunatic: [you know, fish, Rahm Emanuel style]
[personal profile] sithjawa: ...this now begins to make sense
[personal profile] sithjawa: which is horrifying if I think about it too hard

[personal profile] azurelunatic: and elaborated this to 5 anchovies
(and the Renaissance Man of course found this a suspiciously specific number and asked me to elaborate on it)
[personal profile] azurelunatic: arranged in the shape of a finger, naturally
[personal profile] azurelunatic: and how best to make this happen? Why, hot glue. Of course.

azurelunatic: [at this juncture I considered whipping out my phone and seeing if This To That had actual recommendations for the type of adhesive to use in glueing anchovies to a brick.]
[personal profile] sithjawa: O_O

***StPatience slaps [personal profile] azurelunatic's Comcast representative with a large fish
[personal profile] azurelunatic: the Renaissance Man then reminded me that this would entail actually hot-glueing anchovies to a brick
[personal profile] azurelunatic: and asked me whether I thought doing this would be worth it.
[personal profile] azurelunatic: His suggestion of fish glue to glue fish to a brick was considered
dude1: i think you want to use epoxy
[personal profile] azurelunatic: good to know

[personal profile] sithjawa: ...Medical glue should do the trick actually
[personal profile] sithjawa: which I think means basically superglue
[personal profile] sithjawa: ...WHY DO I EVEN KNOW THAT
azurelunatic: but, oil
[personal profile] sithjawa: well, true.
azurelunatic: you'd probably have to at least wipe the surface off?
[personal profile] sithjawa: but that's an issue with skin too.
azurelunatic: yes

StPatience: oh i thought you ment encasing it entirely in epoxy
StPatience: a la resin
[personal profile] azurelunatic: no, I'd want it hanging fishily in the breeze
dude1: that's what she said!

[personal profile] sithjawa: O____O
azurelunatic: yes.

(at this point my internet goes out and I switch to my phone.)

azurelunatic: my internet just fucked itself.
[personal profile] sithjawa: but if Comcast needs fishbrick
[personal profile] sithjawa: and AT&T is dropping half the packets
azurelunatic: FISHBRICK
[personal profile] sithjawa: and IDK if you're still on cocks
azurelunatic: Fishbrick sounds like an NSA code name.
[personal profile] sithjawa: but if your internet fucked itself
[personal profile] sithjawa: MAYBE THE INTERNET IS JUST MADE OF FUCK O____O
azurelunatic: Comcast cocksed itself!
[personal profile] sithjawa: OPERATION FISHBRICK
inoru_no_hoshi: The most ridiculous chandelier ever: shaped like a penis. Text: Sparklepeen. (Default)

[personal profile] inoru_no_hoshi 2014-01-23 11:03 pm (UTC)(link)
IDK what sort of sense of humor I have, except "this made me cackle and pound my desk". :DD
silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)

[personal profile] silveradept 2014-01-23 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
St. Nono has some very... interesting devotees. What is their domain, again?