Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2014-01-23 02:50 am
azurelunatic) wrote2014-01-23 02:50 am
FISHBRICK.
This is one of the things where you possibly had to be there, but. So I'd just fucked off to the mail room in another building because mine was out of envelopes, and on my way back I swung by lb's office. lb was a zombie. I came back around and encountered the Renaissance Man's erstwhile teammate, and then the Renaissance Man came forth from his office. A conversation started up (as it often does).
Now, a note about the Renaissance Man's sense of humor. He has often described it as "one step below", in that however low you have set the conversational tone, he will one-down you. If you have two people engaged in a game of one-downsmanship, things can get pretty grotesque pretty fast. I consider the theme of my particular sense of humor the ability to catch the theme and merrily go along with it. Sometimes this is in the spirit of rowing an already swiftly moving boat, and sometimes in the spirit of the martial artist who notices their opponent's fist traveling in an arc leading to the ground, and helpfully assists that arc to its inevitable completion.
The combination of these two conversational styles can get bizarre. Throughout the exchange, we were both giggling; I had become punchy enough to start crying laughing at a few points. The third party didn't really have much to say on the topic, but was enjoying the exchange with the same apparent appreciation as one might have for a spontaneous standup comedy act.
Being me, I recounted this to those of the usual suspects who hadn't been there; because it was that sort of conversation, I went for #adventuresofstnono rather than #cupcake. Then I shared withsithjawa, who also had horrifying and/or enlightening commentary. Several denizens of #adventuresofstnono who I don't know that well have been nicknamed.
azurelunatic: lb: so on the way back to my cube I encountered the Renaissance Man, and we started from "lb is a zombie today because Comcast" and wound up at "See you later, I'm going to go hot-glue some anchovies to a brick."
[00:36]sithjawa: I WAS WONDERING HOW THATHAPPENED
[00:36]sithjawa: BECAuSE ANCHOVIES
[00:36]sithjawa: are squishy
[00:36] azurelunatic: yes
[00:36]sithjawa: and also ferment
[00:36] azurelunatic: such ferment
[00:36] azurelunatic: so squish
[00:36] azurelunatic: wow
[00:37]sithjawa: very anchoview
[00:37]sithjawa: ..... anchovies. anchoview is the name of the overlook above the chili farm.
[00:37] azurelunatic: ... of course it is
lb: message: be sure the Renaissance Man has enough bricks
dude1: why fish bricks?
azurelunatic: well, we got from Comcast trying to squeeze blood from a stone, to delivering that stone via Windows Express
azurelunatic: and the Renaissance Man allowed as how a brick was the traditional material for Windows Express messages
dude1: hah
sithjawa: ...[dudelydude] has a story of a hard drive manufacturer who went bankrupt while they still had orders outstanding
sithjawa: so they sent them bricks
sithjawa: because they had to ship them something
azurelunatic: :( :( :(
sithjawa: I think the bricks were probably nearly as valuable as the actual hard drives, with no support or replacement parts ever again.
azurelunatic: there *is* that
sithjawa: I don't know what hard drive manufacturer it was, but I think everybody got their paperweight one way or the other.
sithjawa: At least the bricks were standard bricks compatible with other bricks.
[00:43] azurelunatic: I suppose so.
azurelunatic: but that ideally it would be attached to a former Comcast sales rep giving the finger, when thrown through the window
azurelunatic: but those are sort of unwieldy, so you might just want the hand
(at this point I explained the One Step Lower concept tosithjawa.)
azurelunatic: but cadaver pranks aside, no one in law enforcement has much of a sense of humor left after the investigations that would be mandatory with a stray human hand
azurelunatic: so I suggested fish
dude1: haha
azurelunatic: [you know, fish, Rahm Emanuel style]
sithjawa: ...this now begins to make sense
sithjawa: which is horrifying if I think about it too hard
azurelunatic: and elaborated this to 5 anchovies
(and the Renaissance Man of course found this a suspiciously specific number and asked me to elaborate on it)
azurelunatic: arranged in the shape of a finger, naturally
azurelunatic: and how best to make this happen? Why, hot glue. Of course.
azurelunatic: [at this juncture I considered whipping out my phone and seeing if This To That had actual recommendations for the type of adhesive to use in glueing anchovies to a brick.]
sithjawa: O_O
***StPatience slapsazurelunatic's Comcast representative with a large fish
azurelunatic: the Renaissance Man then reminded me that this would entail actually hot-glueing anchovies to a brick
azurelunatic: and asked me whether I thought doing this would be worth it.
azurelunatic: His suggestion of fish glue to glue fish to a brick was considered
dude1: i think you want to use epoxy
azurelunatic: good to know
sithjawa: ...Medical glue should do the trick actually
sithjawa: which I think means basically superglue
sithjawa: ...WHY DO I EVEN KNOW THAT
azurelunatic: but, oil
sithjawa: well, true.
azurelunatic: you'd probably have to at least wipe the surface off?
sithjawa: but that's an issue with skin too.
azurelunatic: yes
StPatience: oh i thought you ment encasing it entirely in epoxy
StPatience: a la resin
azurelunatic: no, I'd want it hanging fishily in the breeze
dude1: that's what she said!
sithjawa: O____O
azurelunatic: yes.
(at this point my internet goes out and I switch to my phone.)
azurelunatic: my internet just fucked itself.
sithjawa: but if Comcast needs fishbrick
sithjawa: and AT&T is dropping half the packets
azurelunatic: FISHBRICK
sithjawa: and IDK if you're still on cocks
azurelunatic: Fishbrick sounds like an NSA code name.
sithjawa: but if your internet fucked itself
sithjawa: MAYBE THE INTERNET IS JUST MADE OF FUCK O____O
azurelunatic: Comcast cocksed itself!
sithjawa: OPERATION FISHBRICK
azurelunatic: IT CAME FROM FUCK SPACE
Now, a note about the Renaissance Man's sense of humor. He has often described it as "one step below", in that however low you have set the conversational tone, he will one-down you. If you have two people engaged in a game of one-downsmanship, things can get pretty grotesque pretty fast. I consider the theme of my particular sense of humor the ability to catch the theme and merrily go along with it. Sometimes this is in the spirit of rowing an already swiftly moving boat, and sometimes in the spirit of the martial artist who notices their opponent's fist traveling in an arc leading to the ground, and helpfully assists that arc to its inevitable completion.
The combination of these two conversational styles can get bizarre. Throughout the exchange, we were both giggling; I had become punchy enough to start crying laughing at a few points. The third party didn't really have much to say on the topic, but was enjoying the exchange with the same apparent appreciation as one might have for a spontaneous standup comedy act.
Being me, I recounted this to those of the usual suspects who hadn't been there; because it was that sort of conversation, I went for #adventuresofstnono rather than #cupcake. Then I shared with
sithjawa, who also had horrifying and/or enlightening commentary. Several denizens of #adventuresofstnono who I don't know that well have been nicknamed. azurelunatic: lb: so on the way back to my cube I encountered the Renaissance Man, and we started from "lb is a zombie today because Comcast" and wound up at "See you later, I'm going to go hot-glue some anchovies to a brick." [00:36]
sithjawa: I WAS WONDERING HOW THATHAPPENED[00:36]
sithjawa: BECAuSE ANCHOVIES[00:36]
sithjawa: are squishy[00:36] azurelunatic: yes
[00:36]
sithjawa: and also ferment[00:36] azurelunatic: such ferment
[00:36] azurelunatic: so squish
[00:36] azurelunatic: wow
[00:37]
sithjawa: very anchoview[00:37]
sithjawa: ..... anchovies. anchoview is the name of the overlook above the chili farm.[00:37] azurelunatic: ... of course it is
lb: message: be sure the Renaissance Man has enough bricks
dude1: why fish bricks?
azurelunatic: well, we got from Comcast trying to squeeze blood from a stone, to delivering that stone via Windows Express azurelunatic: and the Renaissance Man allowed as how a brick was the traditional material for Windows Express messages dude1: hah
sithjawa: ...[dudelydude] has a story of a hard drive manufacturer who went bankrupt while they still had orders outstandingsithjawa: so they sent them brickssithjawa: because they had to ship them somethingazurelunatic: :( :( :(
sithjawa: I think the bricks were probably nearly as valuable as the actual hard drives, with no support or replacement parts ever again.azurelunatic: there *is* that
sithjawa: I don't know what hard drive manufacturer it was, but I think everybody got their paperweight one way or the other.sithjawa: At least the bricks were standard bricks compatible with other bricks.[00:43] azurelunatic: I suppose so.
azurelunatic: but that ideally it would be attached to a former Comcast sales rep giving the finger, when thrown through the window azurelunatic: but those are sort of unwieldy, so you might just want the hand (at this point I explained the One Step Lower concept to
sithjawa.) azurelunatic: but cadaver pranks aside, no one in law enforcement has much of a sense of humor left after the investigations that would be mandatory with a stray human hand azurelunatic: so I suggested fish dude1: haha
azurelunatic: [you know, fish, Rahm Emanuel style]
sithjawa: ...this now begins to make sensesithjawa: which is horrifying if I think about it too hardazurelunatic: and elaborated this to 5 anchovies(and the Renaissance Man of course found this a suspiciously specific number and asked me to elaborate on it)
azurelunatic: arranged in the shape of a finger, naturally azurelunatic: and how best to make this happen? Why, hot glue. Of course. azurelunatic: [at this juncture I considered whipping out my phone and seeing if This To That had actual recommendations for the type of adhesive to use in glueing anchovies to a brick.]
sithjawa: O_O***StPatience slaps
azurelunatic's Comcast representative with a large fish azurelunatic: the Renaissance Man then reminded me that this would entail actually hot-glueing anchovies to a brick azurelunatic: and asked me whether I thought doing this would be worth it. azurelunatic: His suggestion of fish glue to glue fish to a brick was considered dude1: i think you want to use epoxy
azurelunatic: good to know sithjawa: ...Medical glue should do the trick actuallysithjawa: which I think means basically supergluesithjawa: ...WHY DO I EVEN KNOW THATazurelunatic: but, oil
sithjawa: well, true.azurelunatic: you'd probably have to at least wipe the surface off?
sithjawa: but that's an issue with skin too.azurelunatic: yes
StPatience: oh i thought you ment encasing it entirely in epoxy
StPatience: a la resin
azurelunatic: no, I'd want it hanging fishily in the breeze dude1: that's what she said!
sithjawa: O____Oazurelunatic: yes.
(at this point my internet goes out and I switch to my phone.)
azurelunatic: my internet just fucked itself.
sithjawa: but if Comcast needs fishbricksithjawa: and AT&T is dropping half the packetsazurelunatic: FISHBRICK
sithjawa: and IDK if you're still on cocksazurelunatic: Fishbrick sounds like an NSA code name.
sithjawa: but if your internet fucked itselfsithjawa: MAYBE THE INTERNET IS JUST MADE OF FUCK O____Oazurelunatic: Comcast cocksed itself!
sithjawa: OPERATION FISHBRICKazurelunatic: IT CAME FROM FUCK SPACE
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That Terrible Thing I Just Found on the Internet, mostly.
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[02:11] Drew Mc: [personal profile] sithjawa: ...this now begins to make sense
[02:11] Drew Mc: [personal profile] sithjawa: which is horrifying if I think about it too hard
[02:11] Drew Mc: That... that is most of your stories in two lines, really
[02:11] Drew Mc: (LU AZZIE)